Episode Description:
I am joined again with my INTJ sister-in-law, Leah. We scour the internet for a list of INTJ misconceptions and share the ones that really speak out to us. The first half of the episode, we break down these misconceptions and explain why they’re inaccurate. Then the second half really is just two INTJs ranting about random stuff. Enjoy!
Disclaimer:
Some parts of the transcript may be edited for better readability, but the content remains the same. Mostly removed duplicate words, vocal filler words, and added/removed some words for clarification.
Transcript:
Hey, everyone! This is Meliza. And I'm The Talkative Introvert.
I got another INTJ episode for y'all today. If you're new to the podcast, my sister-in-law, and I recently discovered that we are both INTJ and we're loving all things INTJ related. And apparently so do you guys. So without further ado, let's get into the episode. Today I'm joined by Leah. I also call her Louie. So, I probably use those interchangeably throughout the episode. But if you are new to the podcast, we did an episode in season one about INTJs. And that's actually my most popular episode to date.
Leah 0:50
Oh, whaaat?
Meliza Manalo 0:51
Yeah.
Leah 0:52
Really?
Meliza Manalo 0:54
I think it's surpassed 100 downloads already.
Leah 0:57
Ah, sweet!
Meliza Manalo 1:00
Yeah.
Leah 1:00
I'm so glad it was my episode, man.
Meliza Manalo 1:04
I think the fact that's an INTJ episode, like really made it skyrocket.
Leah 1:09
Yeah, I feel like INTJs really get into this stuff, because we can't relate to anyone else.
Meliza Manalo 1:18
Yeah, I mean the moment I found out I was an INTJ, I spent hours searching about what is an INTJ.
Leah 1:27
Yeah, my whole life changed honestly.
Meliza Manalo 1:30
Yeah.
Leah 1:31
My whole outlook on myself and my personality. And even other people's personalities just completely changed in a good way.
Meliza Manalo 1:39
Yeah, no, definitely. It definitely made me...I mean I'm already self-aware. Cuz obviously, that's my personality.
Leah 1:49
To be self-aware, like almost makes us a little crazy, I feel like.
Meliza Manalo 1:55
Yeah, definitely. Like, I don't know.
Leah 1:58
It helps to realize that there's other people like that.
Meliza Manalo 2:03
Yeah, it's nice to know that you're not alone.
Leah 2:05
It really is. It helps a lot.
Meliza Manalo 2:07
Because even though it's like the rarest personality type, like that's a lot of people. Like 2% of whatever the population of the world is, is still a lot of people.
Leah 2:19
You just have to find them.
Meliza Manalo 2:20
Yeah, I haven't found one yet, though. Other than you. It really is that rare.
Leah 2:26
I don't know. If we get close though, we get really close. There's a lot of INFJs I feel like or ENFJs?
Meliza Manalo 2:35
Oh, in our family? Yeah.
Leah 2:37
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 2:38
There's definitely a lot of Es.
Leah 2:39
Like my sisters. My sisters are very close to us, but not exactly. Like out of the extroverted version and the feeling version. Something like that.
Meliza Manalo 2:53
Well, aren't they both NFJs. But one is E and one is I.
Leah 2:58
Yeah, that's what it is.
Meliza Manalo 3:01
Yeah, that's all I remember, which makes total sense.
Leah 3:05
100%. I could pretty much guess their MBTIs.
Meliza Manalo 3:10
Sorry, I'm a little chilly. My hands are cold.
Leah 3:15
Mine are too.
Meliza Manalo 3:17
Let's see, in today's episode, we're going to talk about INTJ misconceptions. And so, we both have a list. And we're going to just go back and forth and read off our list and explain.
Leah 3:30
Yeah. We don't know what's on each other's list.
Meliza Manalo 3:33
Yeah. So, I picked my favorite out of... I don't wanna say my favorite like...
Leah 3:38
Mm hmm. (Laughter) The ones that spoke to you the most.
Meliza Manalo 3:43
Yeah, exactly. I think the first one will probably have like the... we'll have a very similar list, I feel like.
Leah 3:51
I think so. Yeah, I wonder if we agree too on certain things.
Meliza Manalo 3:56
Yeah, that'd be interesting.
Leah 3:57
I'm sure we will on most of them. But I feel like because, you know, we've explained before that you're an INTJ-A, and I'm an INTJ-T. So, I think it might be slightly different in some aspects. But still pretty similar.
Meliza Manalo 4:14
Yeah, I think so too. So who... do you want to go first? Or you want me to go first?
Leah 4:21
You can go first. It's your podcast.
Meliza Manalo 4:23
Okay. Hold on. I'm gonna drink water because I feel parched. So, the first one. Well, okay. I don't know what kind of order I wanna go in.
Leah 4:35
That's so funny because I was gonna bring that up. I was just thinking in my head, I didn't put this in order and I should have.
Meliza Manalo 4:42
Mm hmm. Because I don't know if I want to do the obvious or I don't know. Okay, well, the first one I feel like is everybody's first one. Because it's the one that you see everywhere. I mean it's the most common but the fact that we are emotionless robots. That's literally... that's what people write 'Emotionless robots'. That's everything that I found.
Leah 5:10
Yeah. You can see that everywhere.
Meliza Manalo 5:11
Yeah. So, that's the first one and well, obviously no. Yeah. I don't know. What did you think when you saw that one?
Leah 5:23
So, with that one? Yeah. I mean, I feel like we're incredibly emotional people. We just don't project it as well. Also, I think it goes with, like how like... because this is all about decision making, like MBTI, especially is all about decision making. And the best explanation that I've heard is, for INTJs when we're presented with a dilemma, or some sort of time to make a decision, instead of leading like with our hearts and our emotions, we want to lead with ummm... Oh, my God, someone's calling me right now. Hold on. It's my mom.
Meliza Manalo 6:09
Oh, geez.
Leah 6:11
Bad timing, and it went through my computer. But anyway. So, instead of making our decisions with our emotions and our heart, we tend to go more the logical route. Even if we don't really want to. Because I've definitely felt this where I'm like, I feel a certain way about something. But I don't want to act on my feeling. I do my best to act in a more logical, rational sense most of the time. Doesn't always happen that way, but most of the time.
Meliza Manalo 6:44
Yeah, I totally get that.
Leah 6:46
Yeah. And that goes... that piggybacks on a lot of points on my list. Like, it leads to people thinking that we're sociopaths, which I think we've talked about that a lot. And we're always the villain, or we're bad people or even dangerous. I just... when I was researching this, one of the first things that came up was, are INTJs dangerous? Or why are INTJs dangerous? I was like, what?
Meliza Manalo 7:17
Yeah! I kept seeing that.
Leah 7:20
I was like, is that a thing?
Meliza Manalo 7:23
Apparently, and I'm like, don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you.
Leah 7:29
That's so sad. I was like, I can't believe that. It's that much of a thing. It showed up on Google.
Meliza Manalo 7:38
Yeah, it's like the most asked question or whatever, or one of the most asked questions about INTJs. And it's like, do you think I'm gonna murder you? Like what...?
Leah 7:47
I know.
Meliza Manalo 7:48
I don't understand this. I'm very much not dangerous at all whatsoever.
Leah 7:54
Yeah. And I'm not a sociopath. Even though sometimes, I mean, I kind of feel like it but I'm not.
Meliza Manalo 8:02
Yeah, but like, so along with the emotionless robots. Another thing to add to your point, is that it's very internal. Like, all my emotions are very internal. And so, it just... we just look like we're emotionless. But inside my head, there's like constant turmoil, and there's just constant battling with myself back and forth. And it's just... yeah, we just don't show it outwardly. But inside my head, I'm exploding. There's like a volcano. Constantly erupting.
Leah 8:41
Yeah. I like to equate it to my mind is like Jupiter. You can't really tell what's going on. But there's a million and one storms going on in there.
Meliza Manalo 8:52
Mm hmm. That looks very cohesive and, you know, beautiful.
Leah 8:56
Like, yeah, it's pretty... it looks... I don't know smooth. Like, everything's just mixing together. But no. Just thunderstorms all over in there.
Meliza Manalo 9:08
I like that. Jupiter. It's like Jupiter. It's exactly how it's like.
Leah 9:12
I love Jupiter. So...
Meliza Manalo 9:14
That's funny. Okay, what's on your list?
Leah 9:19
Okay, let me see what's a good one to start with. Um, okay, an interesting one. So, I got some of these from a video that we were just talking about when we first got on this thing. Um, it's by a YouTuber that I like, who talks about INTJ stuff and specifically female INTJs because she is a female. So, it's super easy to relate to. And I always, almost always agree with every single, little point that she makes in her videos. And so, she had one on misconceptions. And one that I found that was interesting was a misconception is that we're fast workers.
Meliza Manalo 10:07
Oh, I didn't get that on my list.
Leah 10:09
Which I found... Yeah, I found that interesting because, you know, INTJs are all about efficiency. And I've always felt that way, even before I knew that was a thing for INTJs. Like, we're always about efficiency. I'm always trying to do things in the most efficient way possible. And I know you do that, too. But when I think about it more, I'm like, I'm really not a fast worker at all. And the biggest reason why is because I think too much. And she talked about this too, because she's the same way where I think too much about something, and I plan too much that I'm spending all this time thinking and planning exactly how to do something that it just doesn't get done. Or it takes forever for it to get done.
Meliza Manalo 10:58
Yeah.
Leah 11:00
I feel like you're not that. You're not too much like that. Because you're pretty, like, productive all the time. I feel like. From what I see, anyway.
Meliza Manalo 11:10
Yeah, it depends. But I understand that part about planning, and planning too much, because... So, a great example actually, because I just took up a certain area at work. It's funny. So, I am now the liaison or the point of contact for Process Improvements.
Leah 11:37
Mm hmm. Oh.
Meliza Manalo 11:37
And I love it. I love Process Improvement.
Leah 11:43
That actually sounds very fun.
Meliza Manalo 11:44
Yeah. It's a really great thing that all organizations should have. Anyways, so I took that up. I actually volunteered to take it up too. Like I wanted to do it.
Leah 11:55
Of course, you did.
Meliza Manalo 11:56
It was like, yeah, process improvements. We all need that all the time. And so, I inherited it from a person. And hopefully, they'll never listen to this, but it was... what's a proper way to say this?
Leah 12:13
Oh, no.
Meliza Manalo 12:14
I want to say it was a shit show. But that's really mean. But that's basically... I can't think of a better word.
Leah 12:23
I feel like that's not a bad way to say that.
Meliza Manalo 12:26
Yeah, sure. And so, I had to basically revamp the whole process. And I spent so much time planning and stuff that it took me forever to finally start executing it. And you have to, like do stuff on a weekly basis. And it was Thursday and I was like, oh, shoot. I haven't even done anything yet. I just have been planning.
Leah 12:50
Yeah. Okay. So, you understand.
Meliza Manalo 12:53
Yeah. But once I'm done with the planning process and outline exactly what I want to do and all that stuff, it's just smooth sailing from there. And I automate a lot of the stuff that I do. Like, there's a lot of stuff people don't know that they can do with Outlook, for example. And I'm constantly like... I kind of feel bad because it makes me sound like a know-at-all. But a lot of times, you know, there's reoccurring emails that you send weekly, right? And so there's functions on Outlook, where you could do quick steps, or quick adds, or whatever. I think they're called 'Quick parts'. Whatever they're called, doesn't matter. And I'm always telling people like, "Oh, did you know that you can actually just do this?" And it's just like, at a click of a button, you know? and I do that a lot, where it's like, "Oh, you know, you could just do this", or "You could just do it this way". And...
Leah 13:50
I know that feeling.
Meliza Manalo 13:52
Yeah. I feel bad. But at the same time, it's like, I just saved you, like, 15 minutes from writing that email. You know? So, but yeah, I get the whole planning thing. But I think the fast working part comes from the planning. So, once you're done planning, then yeah, everything like I do, it's pretty automated. And I can do pretty quickly. So, I guess that's what.
Leah 14:19
Yeah, I guess that's pretty true. I think that's how it is for me too. Because if you're including all that planning, like it takes me forever, to plan things out. And mostly because I just really love the planning process.
Meliza Manalo 14:31
Me too.
Leah 14:31
I just love planning things. I love writing in my planner. You know I'm a planner freak. And so, I just really love that process. And I think part of it is like, I'm so obsessed with the planning part that I don't want it to be over. I don't actually start. Because then I'm done planning and then when I start, like I finish it, and then it's like wait. Now what do I do?
Meliza Manalo 14:57
Do you use OneNote?
Leah 14:59
No. I don't think so. But that sounds familiar. I guess I have it.
Meliza Manalo 15:04
It's a Microsoft thing. Like an office thing.
Leah 15:05
Oh, I have it on my computer. Yeah, no, I've never used it. What is it for?
Meliza Manalo 15:12
It's solely around note taking. But there's like a million ways you can write notes and you can make task lists, and to do lists, you know. And they actually have like the little squares where you can check them off.
Leah 15:27
Oh, that's pretty nice. But I have to write everything down on. I have to write. I can't computerize it, for some reason. I just have to write everything down.
Meliza Manalo 15:39
I get that. So, I have... I don't... This is probably not efficient, but I do have a notepad and my pencil and a pen. I don't know why I have both. I think it just depends on what I'm feeling.
Leah 15:53
Oh, my God. I do the same thing.
Meliza Manalo 15:56
Because I have a special pencil. It's a special Tombow Mono graph pencil. And then I always have my G2 Pilots. Preferably in a 0.38. But right now, I have a 0.07 because that's what I found.
Leah 16:12
Oh, me too. Oh, my God. Oh, I would die if I had the 0.7s.
Meliza Manalo 16:16
They're just too thick, man.
Leah 16:18
They're too thick. Like I can kind of handle the 0.5. But the 0.38 man, everyone at work knows not to touch my pen.
Meliza Manalo 16:28
Everyone took it. So I'm stuck with these stupid like 0.07s. It's just too thick.
Leah 16:38
I was so crazy about it that people know not to touch my pen at work because I freak out. If it goes missing. It happened today, actually. I was like, Oh my god, I can't find my pen. And my co-worker's like, "Oh my god, someone stole Leah's pen".
Meliza Manalo 16:54
Because I mean, I don't know how it is in Virginia. But the 0.30s, I have to get them ordered. They don't sell them at the store because they usually have the fives and the sevens. Yep. So those are like special.
Leah 17:08
special. They're their gold. Yeah, I have to special order them, too. Just through Amazon but still.
Meliza Manalo 17:17
Yeah, but still.
Leah 17:18
It's annoying...
Meliza Manalo 17:18
Oh, JetPens is a good one.
Leah 17:21
JetPens? Haven't heard of JetPens.
Meliza Manalo 17:24
Mm hmm. They're good pen store. I think you'd really like that website.
Leah 17:29
Oh, the pen store. Oooh... I should look them up.
Meliza Manalo 17:32
Mm hmm. Anyways, what are we talking about? What was our?
Leah 17:36
Uh oh, being a fast worker.
Meliza Manalo 17:39
Oh, okay. I think we covered that.
Leah 17:43
Yeah, I think we did too. So, it's your turn now, right?
Meliza Manalo 17:47
Yeah. Okay. So, fast workers. I'm trying to think what's a good flow? But okay, so one that irritates me, I guess, the most is.... well not the most, but a lot. Is the misconception that we don't know how to have fun.
Leah 18:11
That was gonna be my next one.
Meliza Manalo 18:13
Is it?
Leah 18:14
Yeah, I literally wrote down. No sense of humor/not fun.
Meliza Manalo 18:19
Yeah, that's on my list too that 'No sense of humor'.
Leah 18:22
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 18:24
I don't know. I think I'm pretty damn funny sometimes.
Leah 18:27
I know. Well, so I was reading about this too. And the article that I saw was like, in truth, we do have a sense of humor. It's just kind of dark.
Meliza Manalo 18:40
Oh, yeah.
Leah 18:41
It's just, like, different. I mean, I feel like with anyone, you have to get used to people's sense of humor, because everyone kind of has a different sense of humor. And I think that's one of the reasons why we get along so well, is because both of us have pretty dark sense of humor.
Meliza Manalo 19:00
Mm hmm.
Leah 19:01
I mean, not that it's like terrible.
Meliza Manalo 19:04
No. I don't think so. I mean, dark humor... I don't know. It's a good coping mechanism.
Leah 19:10
Yeah. I guess. And I feel like we can be fun. It just has to be the right time. Like I have to be in the right mood. And it's just not as common for me to be in the right mood to do certain things like going out and drinking or something like that. I like to do that once in a while, but it's extremely rare.
Meliza Manalo 19:34
Yeah, I haven't missed it at all, to be honest.
Leah 19:38
Yeah. I don't ever miss it. It's just things. I just happened to be in a good mood or in the right mood. Not in a good mood, but in the right mood. But, yeah. But I still feel like we have fun.
Meliza Manalo 19:52
Yeah, and I don't know. I think our last INTJ episode is very apparent and very evident that we have a sense of humor, cuz we're laughing a lot. You know, who has a good sense of humor?
Leah 20:08
Huh?
Meliza Manalo 20:09
Ava.
Leah 20:11
Oh, she does. Her sense of humor is very dark. And it's funny because it really... It scares the rest of the family?
Meliza Manalo 20:21
Yeah, it does.
Leah 20:25
I've had people be like, "Yeah, I think something's wrong with Ava. Like, I think she's depressed or something." And I've heard the things that they tell me and I'm like, oh, I laughed at that. Like, I thought that was funny. I thought she was clever.
Meliza Manalo 20:42
Because that's the thing. But I think Ava likes that. But if you're with Ava, and she says something weird, and you laugh? She'll laugh because she thinks is funny. But to everyone else it's like, oh my God, is she suicidal? She said that? But it's funny, because like... What is that? ... Oh, someone told me this, but it cracked me up. So they asked... somebody asked Eva, what did she want for Christmas?
Leah 21:11
Oh, I think I know this one!
Meliza Manalo 21:13
And she was like, "To die." I thought that was so hilarious.
Leah 21:18
I think that was funny, too.
Meliza Manalo 21:20
I was cracking up. I was like, Oh, my God. How dramatic.
Leah 21:25
I had... I'm not gonna say which family member but... I had a couple family members tell me about this. And I was like, I didn't want to be like, Oh, I thought that was so funny. Because I knew they wouldn't understand that too. But I was like, I'm pretty sure she's fine. Like, oh, I mean, I'll talk to her, make sure she's okay. But...
Meliza Manalo 21:49
She is fine.
Leah 21:50
... in my mind I'm like, I think she's just like me. Like, I've always felt like she's had a similar personality to us, too. But she's really young still. And so, she's still growing in her personality.
Meliza Manalo 22:04
Yeah. She is only 12. Yeah. No. Yeah. 12.
Leah 22:09
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 22:14
Oh, my goodness.
Leah 22:15
I guess that kind of segues into the one I was telling you about, which is my most... Like my biggest pet peeve. Or the misconception I hate the most, which is that were negative and pessimistic.
Meliza Manalo 22:35
Oh, yeah.
Leah 22:36
I get that all the time. And I'm always telling people I'm not being negative. I'm just realistic and logical. That's it.
Meliza Manalo 22:47
Yeah.
Leah 22:48
Well, that. Yeah, that's my biggest one.
Meliza Manalo 22:50
I don't know if I... I think I've changed a lot. So, I don't get that as much. Because I used to get that all the time. But well, it wasn't... There is some, I don't know, some epitome or some eureka moment that I had in my mid 20s, because now I'm in my late 20s. That was like, you need to stop being so negative, because it's depressing. But I don't remember what that was. There's like something that happened. And then I tried to be more zen, you know? I tried to be more positive, even though everything sucks. And life sucks. And being adult sucks.
Leah 23:37
And it's definitely something that I have to remind myself of, or it's not that I feel like I need to be more positive. I just remind myself that to other people, it comes across as negative.
Meliza Manalo 23:53
Mm hmm.
Leah 23:55
And so I try to seem more positive, I guess, without being fake. Because I don't want to be fake.
Meliza Manalo 24:03
Yeah, I don't want to be all giddy and bubbly. That's not who I am. Yeah, but I think ummm... I think I'm just more grateful. Or I try to be more grateful. Like, the good things in life. And not just focus on the inevitable.
Leah 24:24
Yeah, I definitely have to remind myself to be more grateful and to express it more, because I'm really bad at expressing it.
Meliza Manalo 24:33
Yeah, I talked to my therapist about that. Just trying to... You know, like, I think being at work and always having some type of team kind of makes me be that way. So like, I have to say "Thank you" all the time, or I have to remember to say "Thank you". Or, like in the mornings, we chat obviously since we're all working from home now. Sometimes I'll have a question, but then I'll ask the question, and then I'll be like, oh, and good morning.
Leah 25:09
Yeah, I find myself like... I have to try really hard to greet people.
Meliza Manalo 25:16
Yeah. Mm hmm.
Leah 25:17
Cuz to me, I just think it's unnecessary.
Meliza Manalo 25:22
Yeah, I don't need to say good morning to you. It's not a good morning. It's cold.
Leah 25:28
I know. Like at work. Because I'm always the first person to get to work because I have the key. And I'm the receptionist. So obviously, I need to be there earlier than everyone else. And so, the stylists and everything will walk in. And half the time.... I find myself like half the time I'll greet them. But then like, some of them, I do. Some of them, I don't. And I feel bad, because I'm like, what if they think that I don't like them, because I didn't greet them specifically? But I greeted the person that came in after them. And so I just go through this whole loop in my mind. This happens every morning, literally every morning. And I'm like, ah, I missed one again. So, I try really hard to make a point of greeting people in the morning. And I'm really good in the beginning. But then, as more people come in, I'm like, ah! I missed one.
Meliza Manalo 26:29
Yeah, the receptionist is considered the worst job for INTJs.
Leah 26:36
And that's what I am. It was so hard to get good at it. Like I really, really hated being a receptionist. Like my first probably year of doing it. And now I'm like, four or five years in now. Four and a half, five years in. And now it's...
Meliza Manalo 26:59
It's hard.
Leah 27:00
Yeah, now it's gotten easier, but I definitely have my days where I'm like, oh, man, I don't want to talk to people today. But I have to and I have to be nice. I have to be bubbly or like... Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 27:14
Yeah. Cuz when I worked at the yogurt shop, I had to obviously greet everybody cuz you're the only one working there and then, if they're the only people are the only family in the store, then you have to chit chat. I'm like, "Oh, how's your day? It's another hot one out there." And like, "Man, must be good to have a FroYo, and this hot summer day." You know?
Leah 27:44
That's exactly what you sounded like, huh? (Laughter)
Meliza Manalo 27:48
I tried to be chipper about it. I am very good at being fake at work.
Leah 27:55
No. You have a good customer service voice.
Meliza Manalo 27:59
Yeah, and it's a higher octave too, for some reason. It's just so high pitched.
Leah 28:05
Mine's probably like five octaves higher, and my voice is already at like, the highest octave it can go.
Meliza Manalo 28:14
And I don't know why that's the go to. My voice gets really high pitched. My customer service voice. It's weird.
Leah 28:23
It does. It gets really small too.
Meliza Manalo 28:25
Mm hmm. I think people kind of like that they gravitate towards that. So, maybe that's why I do that. I don't know.
Leah 28:34
Oh, yeah. I feel like I've gotten pretty good at it.
Meliza Manalo 28:37
Yeah, I think so.
Leah 28:39
Yeah. Like, I remember in the beginning of my job when I first got there, people tell me all the time, like, "Oh, Leah, you're so nice to the customers. With the clients you're so like..." I don't know. They always say that I'm really good on the phone, too. I'm like, I really hate talking on the phone. I really hate it.
Meliza Manalo 28:59
But you always got compliments about that. Like I remember when you worked at Chipotle and just that... even the salon here. You always got good... What's it called? Like, reviews, I guess. And the review is like, "Leah is friendly" and "Leah is approachable."
Leah 29:18
I got that during school too surprisingly.
Meliza Manalo 29:21
Oh, really? That's good, I guess.
Leah 29:22
Yeah. throughout school. I mean, I was pretty quiet. I guess in elementary school. I don't know. It was a little bit different. But yeah, I guess I'm just really good at faking it. Fake it till you make it!
Meliza Manalo 29:38
True. Whatever we go through, we are not emotionless robots. We do have humor and we do have fun. And then we're not all pessimistic. Oh, and okay, so I guess this kind of goes hand in hand with the pessimism. Pess... Whatever, you know what I'm saying. Um, but the misconception is also that we're arrogant and we're jerks.
Leah 30:08
I knew you're gonna say that, because that's on my list too. Well, mine says like, 'self centered'.
Meliza Manalo 30:15
Yeah. Which is like arrogant.
Leah 30:16
Which is kind of similar. Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 30:19
And I don't know, like, I know but I can be mean. But I don't mean to be mean. You know what I mean?
Leah 30:35
Yeah. With that 'A' attached to yours.
Meliza Manalo 30:40
Yeah. Which is very unfortunate, because I don't like arrogant people and I don't like jerks, obviously. Like, I always say 'please' and 'thank you'. And I'm very polite and respectful. But I know that I can be that way. Because when I'm that way, like when I'm a jerk, if you will, or an arrogant or whatever, it's because I'm comfortable with you. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Leah 31:12
No, that makes total sense. Because that's when it comes out for me too. Because I feel like... no offense, but I feel like I'm not as bad as you are in that sense.
Meliza Manalo 31:24
Yeah, I agree.
Leah 31:26
I don't come across as that very often. But when I do you get very comfortable with people, it can happen. And I've had issues in the past with friends as I'm getting closer to them, where I've done something like that or been that way. And they're like, "Whoa!" And it gets kind of weird. But then I have to remind myself like, oh, don't be that way.
Meliza Manalo 31:52
Yeah, cuz your guard goes down, right?
Leah 31:54
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 31:55
And so, the more comfortable you are, the more you don't like... what's the word? Like you're not constantly checking yourself to make sure you're conforming or whatever. And you're just being yourself. So... which is kind of... Geez, I hate that. Like, the more of myself the more arrogant and jerkish I am. But
Leah 32:17
I know.
Meliza Manalo 32:20
But it does have something like... I don't know, like the arrogant part, I kind of hate that one. Because it's like, I'm not... I don't know, if I agree that I'm arrogant. I think I am the way I am. This one's hard, to be honest.
Leah 32:37
It is. It is because sometimes I feel like I am. Like I can be. Like, some of my thoughts, I'm like, wow. That was pretty selfish of you, or whatever. Or it's like, I don't know my reactions typically, I think, started out as being selfish. And then I kind of like usually I'm pretty good about checking myself. And being like, no. I can't be that selfish. I feel like that's where it comes. Like, you can connect making decisions with your heart versus your mind. Cuz... this sounds really bad. But maybe deep down at first, like my heart wants to be selfish and cater to myself. But then I think about it logically. And I'm like, no, you shouldn't be doing that. That's not what should happen. So, then I go into the more logical direction. Or I try to.
Meliza Manalo 33:41
Yeah, I agree. That's definitely has to do with our decision making and our logical and rational thinking. Because my arrogance comes out a lot. I don't know if Bailey still listens to the podcast, but it kind of comes out with Bailey sometimes. Because I'm just so comfortable with her because she's my best friend. And I do truly feel like I can just be myself around her. And I do feel bad that I do that. But some of it, it's like... I think sometimes I give advice when no one's asking for it.
Leah 34:19
Oh, yeah. It's hard not to do.
Meliza Manalo 34:21
Yeah, because there'll be times where... like, not just Bailey. Just like Casey too and you. Like people I'm close to. If they're having some type of hardship or whatever, I want to tell them how to do something a certain way. Because it's proven for me to work. But like I need to remember just because it works for me, doesn't mean it works for other people.
Leah 34:48
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 34:49
Yeah. So, I think that's where kind of the arrogance comes from. But it comes from a place of love, you know? Like I'm not just saying things just to make myself puff off myself. And like, make myself look better than you. It's more like, I just want to tell you this...
Leah 35:04
I'm trying to help you.
Meliza Manalo 35:05
Yeah, exactly. Like I'm telling you this because I want you to, you know, live a more fulfilling life or a better life or something, you know, more efficient, whatever. So it's not arrogance, it's just the way we, I guess, express it seems arrogant.
Leah 35:20
That's funny, because that's something that I've realized fairly recently too. And so, I've been watching myself with doing that, like, giving advice when you shouldn't be. Or trying to trying to fix people's problems that you don't need to fix. Because I know for myself. Like, if I complain about something, I'm not necessarily asking someone to fix it for me. I just sometimes I just want to complain.
Meliza Manalo 35:51
Yeah, exactly. And I like need to remember that other people do that, too.
Leah 35:57
Yeah. And I do that a lot. You know me. I love to complain. I really do.
Meliza Manalo 36:06
You really do.
Leah 36:07
Yeah, I really do. I'm not like I care or anything. The stereotypical caring. Like, it's more of like, behind the scenes. I just really love to complain. But that's all I want to do. I don't like, if I can fix it, I'll fix it. But sometimes I just don't feel like fixing it. I just want to complain for a little bit, and then I'll fix it.
Meliza Manalo 36:30
Yeah. All right. What's next on your list?
Leah 36:33
I think we covered a lot of them. Another one that I found is that we're workaholics.
Meliza Manalo 36:43
Oh, yeah.
Leah 36:45
Yeah, I don't... For me, 100% it's not true. Because sometimes I feel like I'm super lazy. And I don't ever want to work.
Meliza Manalo 36:54
Mm hmm. Yeah. Right. When five o'clock rolls around, I'm out. I turn off my computer.
Leah 37:00
Yeah. I'm not in love with working.
Meliza Manalo 37:07
Yeah, I don't understand. I don't get that one.
Leah 37:09
Yeah, I love learning.
Meliza Manalo 37:12
Yeah.
Leah 37:14
I guess that could be misconstrued as being a workaholic. Cuz like today, I worked this morning 08:30 to 03:00, I got off, I came home. And up until now, it's 9 o'clock right now. So, this whole time in between, I've been watching YouTube videos on sewing. I just picked up sewing sort of recently. So, I've spent hours just watching these videos And I do this a lot where I really get into something. And I really dive into it. And it's funny, because sometimes Fabian will pop into the room and he'll be like, "What are you doing?" I'm like, well, I'm just watching this video or whatever. And then he'll be like, "Okay." Leaves for a couple hours. And I see him sneak back in and I can tell he's like, why she's still doing that? Like, come in again and be like, "You're still doing that?" Like, yeah, I'm busy! Leave me alone.
Meliza Manalo 38:25
That's funny. I think it depends on what you're passionate about. Because when I'm crafting a card, for example, probably just the same way like you are. It takes me hours to craft them, right? Because everything's handmade and stuff. But I can just work on that for hours. Because I love it. And I love the whole trying to figure out, how to do certain ways and how things work and learning how to do new things. So, I guess that makes sense. Like, workaholic, but not necessarily work. But stuff we're passionate about.
Leah 39:02
Yeah. And I feel like we just like to do a lot of things. And just like to learn a lot of things. That's kind of like a never-ending cycle for us. We do it constantly.
Meliza Manalo 39:17
Yeah. Definitely. Like when I do some of these podcast episodes, because I always write like an outline first. And I'll spend hours. And it's kind of the same thing. Like Brandon does the same thing. Where he'll pop in. And he'll just see like, "Oh, are you still working on the podcast?" And I'm like, yep. And then he'll pop in and it'll be like 11. And he'll be like, "Are you going to bed?" I'm like, yeah. Almost done!
Leah 39:43
And then it's another hour later?
Meliza Manalo 39:44
Yeah.
Leah 39:46
Oh my god. That's 100% me. It's so bad sometimes.
Meliza Manalo 39:52
Yeah. Cuz I want to know what I'm talking about. You know, and then it's also just interesting at the same time. Like, obviously I don't talk about anything I'm not interested in. So, the research part of it is just really... I don't know. Time consuming.
Leah 40:09
It is. It is really.
Meliza Manalo 40:11
Cuz don't know how many hours passed by.
Leah 40:15
No, not at all. When you're that into something, it just... and I have this weird thing where... I feel like I may have talked about this before. But I can't... once I start something, if I stop, I more than likely will not pick it up again, if I don't finish it right away.
Meliza Manalo 40:36
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Leah 40:37
Or it will take me forever to complete it if I just stop. So, I feel like I have to... when I start something, I feel like I have to finish it in that one period of time, however long it is, however long it takes me, I have to do it all at once. Which is why I think I procrastinate, too. Like this embroidery project that I started before school started. And I couldn't finish it all in one day. Well, embroidery projects usually do take me a few days because it takes hours. So, I'll work on it for hours for days consecutively until I finish it. But if I skip a day, then that project’s not getting finished for months. I'm just now finishing that project that I started back in August, I think. And it's now January, and I literally just have to put the backing on it. It'll take me like 10 minutes. And it's taken me that long to finish it. Just because I put it down for one day.
Meliza Manalo 41:45
Yeah, I'm the same way. Like I don't know if that's an INTJ thing.
Leah 41:49
Yeah, I wonder.
Meliza Manalo 41:50
But like... Yeah, cuz... So all the video games I play, I don't know if I finished any of them.
Leah 41:58
Oh, I've never finished a video game. I don't think. Oh, Fable. I finished Fable one time.
Meliza Manalo 42:03
Oh, yeah. I finished Fable.
Leah 42:05
Yeah, but it was after restarting it three times over the span of 10 years.
Meliza Manalo 42:10
Yeah. I don't know why I just like... Once I put it down like... Yeah, like you said, it's so hard to to pick it up. Like that's kind of the same way with my crafts, too. That's why I hate when I have to glue something. Because then I have to wait for it to dry overnight sometimes. And luckily, most of my cards are actually like... like my mom pays me to make birthday cards for her friends and stuff. And like, I've had other people ask me, too. And so luckily, I have like that deadline. Because if I didn't have that deadline, I don't know if I'll get anything done.
Leah 42:50
That's why I'm scared to make deadlines for myself. Like when someone asks for me to make them something, I legitimately tell them I have no idea when I'm going to get this done. Because I don't want to put a deadline because I don't want to put myself in that situation. Because then I know I'll end up dreading it. I don't want to dread something that I really like to do.
Meliza Manalo 43:14
Yeah, that's why I stopped making birthday cards for everybody.
Leah 43:18
Yeah. You talked about that one in your podcast.
Meliza Manalo 43:21
Yeah, that birthday is a deadline. And I don't even know if I made any of those deadlines, to be honest.
Leah 43:29
Oh, yeah. Even when I do try to set a deadline, I more than likely will not make it. Especially if I don't promise it to somebody.
Meliza Manalo 43:39
Oh, yeah. If I promise to somebody, I have to do it.
Leah 43:44
Yeah. Which is why I don't do that.
Meliza Manalo 43:48
Yeah. Exactly.
Leah 43:49
It's terrible. Oh, my God. Oh, man. I sound like a horrible person.
Meliza Manalo 43:56
Nah. That's fine.
Leah 43:57
Like, I still owe you a Link cross-stitch, which I did start.
Meliza Manalo 44:02
Oh, you asked me that a long time ago. I kind of forgot about that.
Leah 44:05
Yeah, that was like... I think it's been like a year almost.
Meliza Manalo 44:08
It has been a year?
Leah 44:09
Because I finished June's patch a year ago, I think this month.
Meliza Manalo 44:13
Okay, then yeah, it's been a year after that.
Leah 44:14
And it was shortly after that. So yeah, it's pretty close to you. But I started it. And I actually did pick it up again a few days ago. And then I put it back down. And it's been a few days. But I'm determined it will get done.
Meliza Manalo 44:33
Thanks. Someday.
Leah 44:35
Yeah, you know I'll just show up one day and you'd be like, "Oh! There it is."
Continue to Part 2 to read the rest...