Episode Description:
You may remember from Season 1, my friend, Mia. I invited her onto the podcast to talk about dating as an introvert. In this episode, Mia joins me again to give us a little update on her dating life.
Check out Mia’s art and follow her on social media: https://linktr.ee/Miarussell
Check out La Vette Social Club: https://www.instagram.com/lavettesocialclub/
Disclaimer:
Some parts of the transcript may be edited for better readability, but the content remains the same. Mostly removed duplicate words, vocal filler words, and added/removed some words for clarification.
Transcript:
Hey everyone! This is Meliza, and I'm the Talkative Introvert.
In today's episode if you can tell from the title, we're doing an introvert dating update episode. If you're new to this podcast, last season, I asked my friend Mia if I can interview her about what it's like to date from an introvert perspective especially nowadays. So thanks again for coming back onto that episode, Mia. So glad to have you on the podcast. You've been on here before. And you've done more than just the introvert dating episode. But thanks for coming back to do a follow up on that episode.
Mia Russell 0:46
Yeah, it's great to be back. And I look forward to discussing all the details of how everything went and hopefully help some introverts out there get into dating again.
Meliza Manalo 1:02
Yeah, that'd be awesome. So if you haven't listened to that episode, that's back in season one, Episode 10. And it's just called 'Introvert dating w/ Mia Russell'. And she's actually my first guest. And I wanted her to come on to the podcast because for me, I've never done adult dating. I met my now husband in high school. So I never went through that whole thing. And I was just fascinated by it. And I wanted to ask her how that was. And I didn't know anything about the apps. And I feel like nowadays, that's kind of just what people do. I mean I'm sure there's people who still meet each other, right? Like in person?
Mia Russell 1:47
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 1:49
But for the most part at least, I don't know about you. But a lot of people I know, do the apps and they go through dates through the apps now.
Mia Russell 1:58
Oh, yeah. Everyone that I know. I haven't met anybody that hasn't met their significant other outside of an app. Unless it's like a church group or something that they go to continuously over and over time.
Meliza Manalo 2:17
Yeah. I feel like if you're not in college or even nowadays, even if you're in college, you're most likely not on campus right now. I think they are going back to campus but there's the virtual thing. Like even me. I'm not going back into the office. So if I was single right now, it's not like I'm talking to someone at work constantly. It's not like I can meet my significant other. I mean, I guess you could chat with people, but I don't just casually chat with people at work unless you just so happen to have a meeting with them or something.
Mia Russell 3:02
Yeah, it's kind of difficult now that everything is shut down. And well, everything's opening back up now. But it's still a whole new world to navigate.
Meliza Manalo 3:13
Yeah, because people are typically sticking with their own little clan or their own little group. And then you also have your mask on. So, it's hard to see people and get their facial reactions and stuff like that.
Mia Russell 3:28
Yeah, that's super hard.
Meliza Manalo 3:30
Yeah. So I see why apps are probably the most useful, because then you at least know people are wanting to date and stuff.
Mia Russell 3:44
Yeah. Well, that's the thing. So some people are there for dating, and some people are there for hook-ups. And some people are there because they think they want to date but they're just there because they're there for hook-ups. I don't think they understand that they are just looking for hook-ups. They think that they're looking for dating. But in reality, what they want is just friends with benefits or someone they can call on a Friday night.
Meliza Manalo 4:13
Yeah, they can't commit once it gets real.
Mia Russell 4:16
Yeah, they don't want anything real. They don't want anything that's gonna tie them down or take up emotional space for them. And I've obviously bumped into a lot of that and it's really disheartening. At first when you start talking to somebody and you get into the talking stage, and then you find out, oh, you're not really what I'm looking for. Because you're just looking for a booty call or something like that. And then you just have to start all over and it's really disappointing.
Meliza Manalo 5:00
Oh, geez.
Mia Russell 5:02
Because you start investing emotional space into these people. And once you start talking to them and getting to know them, and it's just super annoying to have to start over. You just have to be really consistent about trying. Otherwise, it's not going to work out.
Meliza Manalo 5:22
Yeah, they should. I mean, I don't know. I think I told you... (Audio disruption)
Mia Russell 5:27
I'm sorry? Hello? Hello? Testing 1, 2, 3. (Mic feedback)
Meliza Manalo 5:33
What is that?
Mia Russell 5:34
You think it'd be better on zoom? Do you want to start over?
Meliza Manalo 5:38
Oh, but it sounds good right now.
Mia Russell 5:40
Okay, you just wanna keep going?
Meliza Manalo 5:42
Yeah, sure.
Mia Russell 5:43
Okay. Let's see what my connection looks like. Yeah, I have full bars.
Meliza Manalo 5:50
That's weird. Are you in the ghost room again? (Laughter)
Mia Russell 5:59
Maybe.
Meliza Manalo 6:02
Okay, it's fine. I just creeped myself out.
Mia Russell 6:07
Oh, and we recently found out that the ghost room has mold in it. So, yeah.
Meliza Manalo 6:12
Oh, no.
Mia Russell 6:14
Yeah, we had to rip the carpet out and everything.
Meliza Manalo 6:17
Oh, so you're haunted and you're getting sick. Perfect.
Mia Russell 6:21
Right? (Laughter)
Meliza Manalo 6:26
Okay. Anyways. (Laughter)
Mia Russell 6:28
Anyways.. So basically, I would talk to like 50 plus people and get one date out of it. Or swipe on a 100, talk to 50, get one date. Maybe.
Meliza Manalo 6:46
That's exhausting.
Mia Russell 6:49
Exactly. And that's why it's so hard for introverts because it's emotionally exhausting. It's physically exhausting. It takes up a lot of time. And it's not necessarily something you want to sit and do for three hours at a time. Just sitting there swiping and swiping and swiping.
Meliza Manalo 7:11
Yeah. Cuz sometimes it takes me forever to text people back. And I know they texted me. It's just that I need social energy before interacting, you know? It's not like I don't like you. It's just...
Mia Russell 7:30
Yeah, some days you just don't have the spoons for it, you know?
Meliza Manalo 7:34
Yeah. Oh, geez.
Mia Russell 7:37
And if you don't start immediately replying to these people, they think 1) You're not interested 2) You're stuck up 3) You're talking to somebody else. And sometimes they get really rude, but it's good to know that they are rude person, I guess.
Meliza Manalo 7:57
Like if they don't have the patience.
Mia Russell 7:59
Yeah. So sometimes I would start talking to them and then wait like a day or two and see what their reaction is. To see if they have patience or not. Or to see what they're really after, they're in it for a long-haul type thing, or if they're just kind of breezing through the swipes.
Meliza Manalo 8:24
That's a good strategy.
Mia Russell 8:25
Yeah, it's all about strategy. I think it's really personal about how you go about it. Everybody's strategy is gonna be different. Like I know I'm a little bit more extroverted than you. So I had a little bit more of the space in my brain for it, you know, a bit occupying time and energy, but it's still very draining.
Meliza Manalo 8:59
Yeah. I don't know if you listened to the episode but after introvert dating episode, I wanted to try out the FRND app to find new friends, you know?
Mia Russell 9:13
Uh huh. Yeah, I've tried that too.
Meliza Manalo 9:16
Yeah. And that's exhausting, too. And then I did actually meet only two chicks. And they were cool and everything, but the upkeep, because we were trying to get to know each other, and we're texting each other. And we're thinking about meeting up and all this stuff. And then we like did follow each other on Instagram and stuff. But honestly, we just got so exhausting. And then we didn't always text each other back and then like...
Mia Russell 9:49
It just fell apart?
Meliza Manalo 9:50
Yeah, it just didn't work out and then I just stopped following them altogether. I ghosted them. Because it felt like this is too much work.
Mia Russell 10:02
Yeah, it gets to be too much. And especially if you're talking to a couple of people at a time, which happens pretty frequently. Because you're just you're out there, you're searching through person after person. So you're talking to everybody at the same time, you forget about one person or neglect to check back in on the conversation, and then it just kind of falls apart and you technically ghost them. And so they get angry if you come back and say, like, "Hey". It'll be like, "Excuse me, you didn't talk to me for a day?" So it's understandable that people get frustrated with it. But you also have to kind of weed out people depending on what you want. Like I weeded them out by not messaging them back right away to see if they had the patience to deal with me. Because sometimes I don't text back right away.
Meliza Manalo 11:08
Yeah. And you kind of need to have someone who's okay with that. That's just like how you are, you know?
Mia Russell 11:16
Yeah. So for me, that's what I would do to see if they were really high maintenance about their conversations and stuff like that.
Meliza Manalo 11:27
Oh, God. I'd be so bad at dating.
Mia Russell 11:31
I think you'd be good.
Meliza Manalo 11:32
You think I'd be good?
Mia Russell 11:35
Okay. I think you'd be fine. (Laughter) Just as good as I was.
Meliza Manalo 11:40
Yeah, I guess I just get socially exhausted. I know, for sure I get more socially exhausted than you do. More than a lot of people. I mean, what did I get? 93% introverted or something like that?
Mia Russell 11:55
Yeah. something crazy high like that. Like mine was like 70%.
Meliza Manalo 12:00
Yeah. Which totally makes sense. Because sometimes I won't text people back for days. (Laughter) That's really bad. When I graduated college, my niece messaged me on Facebook and congratulated me for graduating. And I think I texted her back three months later.
Mia Russell 12:28
Geez!
Meliza Manalo 12:29
And I was like oh, my God. I totally didn't see this. I'm so sorry. I don't like Facebook.(Laughter)
Mia Russell 12:39
Sure. The introvert excuse.
Meliza Manalo 12:42
It was so funny. Because I also don't like notification dots, or whatever they're called. The little...
Mia Russell 12:48
Oh, the push notification?
Meliza Manalo 12:50
Yeah. So I always mark everything as read or I don't like when it's just sticking out there. And then you know how phones... I don't know why I haven't figured this out. Because I think iPhones do this, too. But when someone texts you and you haven't read it, they'll still keep notifying you if someone texts you. You know what I'm talking about?
Mia Russell 13:12
Yeah, mine has a setting where it reminds you two minutes after that they sent it?
Meliza Manalo 13:17
Uhuh. Yeah.
Mia Russell 13:18
But other than that, it doesn't remind me.
Meliza Manalo 13:21
Okay. Yeah, I haven't turned that off. Which is stupid, because I should turn it off by now. But I hate that I'm just like, ughhh stop!
Mia Russell 13:33
I leave mine on because otherwise, I will forget about it. And I don't get back to people at all.
Meliza Manalo 13:43
Yeah.
Mia Russell 13:43
I then forget about it at all. So I have to leave it on. Otherwise, I'll never talk to that person.
Meliza Manalo 13:50
Yeah, I think that's why I leave it on to remind myself too, make sure I read it and text back. But at the same time, I want to turn it off because I don't want to read it. I don't want to text. (Laughter) Jeez, that's why I wouldn't be good at this. Like I don't even like the friends app. And I only talked to two girls.
Mia Russell 14:12
Honestly, I think it's harder to find friends than it is to find like a match with dating. Because with friends, I feel like there's higher requirements. Because they've got like, I don't know.
Meliza Manalo 14:38
Higher sentiments for dating. Because it's like, who you're gonna start with. Yeah.
Mia Russell 14:44
That's true.
Meliza Manalo 14:45
I think friends is just more socially exhausting, because you're putting all this effort into it for someone who is not necessarily going to be you're like ride or die.
Mia Russell 14:57
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say.
Meliza Manalo 14:59
Yeah. Like, I don't want to put as much emotional... What's the word? Energy?
Mia Russell 15:06
Effort, energy, space. Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 15:09
Yeah. Into finding a friendship over finding a life partner. Yeah, I get what you're trying to say then.
Mia Russell 15:20
Yeah, there's like a higher capacity for everything. (Laughter)
Meliza Manalo 15:27
Yeah. That's fine. Anyways, so that's a little recap from the last episode that we were talking about. Okay, so the last episode we talked about how I don't know anything about dating but you do and then adult dating, then dating as an introvert and the dating apps. And we also talked about how you prepped for dates and stuff like that. So in this episode, it's a little update. Because if you can't tell, Mia is no longer single. Woahh! Alright, Brandon is sleeping so...
Mia Russell 16:10
Yayy! And the proud girl's won.
Meliza Manalo 16:15
Does he know that you're doing this episode today?
Mia Russell 16:19
He knows that I'm doing a podcast, but I didn't mention what it was about. I think I did a few weeks ago. I mentioned that it was about dating and stuff. And that I wouldn't be doing specifics because I don't want to you know...
Meliza Manalo 16:40
Yeah. Definitely. Like if he's not into that and this is also pretty new-ish.
Mia Russell 16:50
It's been about six months now.
Meliza Manalo 16:54
Yeah, I guess it's not new anymore. Man, this year's going by so fast.
Mia Russell 16:58
I know. It's crazy.
Meliza Manalo 17:01
Yes, six. Oh, my God. I was thinking you guys just met, but yeah. Half a year. Okay. Geez. My goodness. But before we get to that stuff, in the last introvert dating episode, there was one app that we talked about. And I wanted to do an update on that. Because you said we would try it, you would try it. We? I'm talking like we're dating, but you would try the Anomo app. You remember that one?
Mia Russell 17:38
Yes, I definitely did try it, but immediately got creeped out. Like got a real bad vibe. And I mean I interacted with people and asked questions like, how does this work? And people responded. And it was basically a blind Facebook.
Meliza Manalo 18:07
So before, I guess, for anyone who hasn't listened to that episode. Okay, so what is a Anomo?
Mia Russell 18:17
It's supposed to be an introvert dating app. But what it really is, is like Facebook without the responsibility or culpability of taking responsibility for your actions, I guess? It's really bizarre.
Meliza Manalo 18:40
Because you're anonymous, right?
Mia Russell 18:42
Yes. Because you're anonymous. So, you post weird things. And people really just let their freak flag fly. And sometimes it's extremely inappropriate. And it didn't really work as a dating site. There was no matching. There's no swiping. It was just kind of like you're in this giant pool of people that you don't know. And you kind of interact with them. It's like, if Facebook added all the friends that there are at once, but you didn't know who was who.
Meliza Manalo 19:24
So you don't add people as friends? Everyone is just there already?
Mia Russell 19:27
No, you're just there already. Yeah, you're there already.
Meliza Manalo 19:31
Wow.
Mia Russell 19:33
And you can post things and you can post your picture if you want, like as your profile picture, but nobody had that really. And the stuff that they would post was generally inappropriate or sexually based or motivated. And it was just like, this is not what I'm into at all. It's like a chat room almost.
Meliza Manalo 20:07
Okay. Can you put your location? Like, are these people in your area like in the Greater Sacramento region? Or is this just like anyone who uses the app?
Mia Russell 20:22
You know, I'm not sure because it doesn't tell you location on there that I was aware of. I have no idea. It just told me their age and gender. And there were a lot of men on there. A couple of women maybe, if they were actually women, if they weren't being catfish. And I just really got creeped out by it, because people were so forward. And I'm not used to that on the internet, I guess. Just kind of being out there with everything. And it was...
Meliza Manalo 20:57
That's crazy.
Mia Russell 20:58
Yeah, it was too much. Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 21:01
That kind of goes to show what... I don't want to say what the real human mind is like. But in a way if there's like no way of it coming back to you, this is what people would say.
Mia Russell 21:17
Yeah. World of lies on the internet.
Meliza Manalo 21:22
Yeah. That's pretty insane.
Mia Russell 21:25
Yeah, I didn't like it whatsoever. And I deleted it after two days, because I just couldn't handle the messages I was getting. I couldn't handle the people who were on it. And it was just like, you have to earn information about people. And when you get invested in somebody, I want to know certain things about them before that. Like a picture, a name, a location.
Meliza Manalo 21:58
Yeah. Cuz I remember when we were looking into it, it looked pretty cool. And like, I remember there's like this whole success story like a couple did actually find each other and got married. And then I was like, oh, that's awesome. But now it just seems like uh...
Mia Russell 22:17
That's probably the only one that actually is on there.
Meliza Manalo 22:20
Yeah, like the founders.
Mia Russell 22:22
Yeah, right. I'm pretty sure this is an introvert dating app created by an extrovert. Like, when they think what an introvert would want. But it's more like, what does a crazy person on the internet want?
Meliza Manalo 22:42
That's interesting. Yeah. I don't know. I was so hopeful for though because there is no specific introvert dating app. But at the same time, if you do the MBTI. What's it called? What personalities work with what personality?
Mia Russell 23:06
The Myers Briggs.
Meliza Manalo 23:07
Yeah, the Myers Briggs. What's it called? Type Indicator?
Mia Russell 23:13
Yeah, something like that.
Meliza Manalo 23:14
They always kind of match you with the opposite. Like, not my perfect match. But someone who I do well with is like an extrovert. Isn't necessarily like an INTJ to an INTJ. It's like an INTJ to ESTP or something like that. There's always an E. So I guess that makes sense that if it's just introverts only, if that would work. Because maybe you need a balance between the two. Like an introvert and extrovert might do well together depending on their percentage.
Mia Russell 23:54
Yeah, definitely.
Meliza Manalo 23:56
But yeah, okay. So that's the recap on Anomo, I guess it's A NOgo. (Laughter)
Mia Russell 24:07
Jesus. That was pretty good.
Meliza Manalo 24:10
I just thought that you'll like that.
Mia Russell 24:13
I do. I do. I like that.
Meliza Manalo 24:15
Oh, my goodness. So anyone who is curious from the last episode, don't get Anomo apparently, it's just...
Mia Russell 24:22
Don't waste your time. The two star rating was accurate. If it was even deserving of that.
Meliza Manalo 24:30
Yeah. Oh, I forgot it got two stars. Oh, man. So bad. Oh, geez. Alright. Well, there's that or there's that. Okay. So after you deleted Anomo, what apps did you stick to?
Mia Russell 24:52
I used Bumble a lot. But towards the end, I just got really tired of it because the girl has to make the first move. And I never ever got responses from men. And when I did, it was like, "Oh, sorry, I'm not interested." I'm just like, what do you mean? You swiped on me, right? We both swipe the same way. Swipe right? So why are you all of a sudden not interested? It just didn't make sense to me. And it's probably because a lot of people's strategy on dating apps, is just a swipe right on everybody and see what happens.
Meliza Manalo 25:40
Hmm. That's what it's really good for doing.
Mia Russell 25:43
Yeah, because if you don't swipe right on everybody, you just get a less percentage of matches obviously. And it's just easier to see who your matches are and who you like out of that versus the entire dating pool, and swiping left or right and putting energy into that. I also used plenty of fish, which I didn't like either. So I pretty much ignored it into nonexistence. And then Hinge. Hinge was okay, I met one guy off of hinge and it lasted for a little bit and then things fell apart. But I didn't really like who I was matching with on there that didn't seem like good fits for me. But I did like its format, like how you can comment on a photo or something and send it to them as a message to get things rolling. Or like it has you answer questions and then the person who's looking at your profile can also put in their opinion, and send it to you as a message and it'll like quote it. Like what you wrote, what they said and then it starts a conversation. And what else did I use? Oh yeah, Tinder. I broke down and finally got Tinder because I was so tired of Bumble and everything else that I was using. It was actually probably the easiest one to use, because it's kind of more straightforward and mainstream. Everybody knows about Tinder. It's the one that started everything pretty much.
Meliza Manalo 27:31
Yeah. I feel like that's what everyone uses to like everyone I know. that uses the app has Tinder.
Mia Russell 27:38
Yeah, Tinder or Grindr, and they're both wildly popular. So that's what I ended up using. And that's where I found my man.
Meliza Manalo 27:54
Which is so funny, because I did listen back in the last episode before this episode, just to prep for it. And you said that you didn't want to use Tinder, because it's only for hook-ups.
Mia Russell 28:08
Yeah. And that's how desperate I was getting. I was like, there has to be somebody out there that's not on there for a hookup. And I know that I said that. And I was just like, you know what? Let's just give it a go. Why not? I tried to Anomo and that was trash. So I might as well try Tinder. So I did and I actually found somebody who wanted a relationship and not a hookup. And we were both interested and everything worked out obviously. (Laughter)
Meliza Manalo 28:41
Was he the only one you went on a date with? Or were there other people you found on Tinder who also wanted to be in a relationship?
Mia Russell 28:49
I did find other people who want to be in a relationship on Tinder. But when I started talking to them, things didn't really mesh very well. It wasn't easy to talk to them. It felt like it was being forced a little bit. And then one of them ghosted me, one of them responded out of the blue like two months later. And it's just like, okay. Well, you're too late. Or not too late, but just like didn't respond in a timely manner. Like I don't have that much patience.
Meliza Manalo 29:28
Yeah. I get that. Okay, so the last episode, you were dating two guys, but they didn't work out. And then you found this guy. Was there anyone in between? Any dates in between those guys?
Mia Russell 29:46
Um, the ones that didn't work out, after that, I kind of gave up for a while and took a break. But then I redownloaded everything and start over again. But no, I didn't go on any other dates. I just kind of took a break from it and then got right back on the horse and almost immediately found someone.
Meliza Manalo 30:20
That's crazy. Maybe you just needed that break?
Mia Russell 30:22
Yeah. So yeah, I think I just needed that break to get kind of rejuvenated and back into really caring about it versus just swiping and then being like, oh, maybe. Maybe not. Just not really committing to anything.
Meliza Manalo 30:39
Okay. All along, all you needed was that little break.
Mia Russell 30:45
Well, I mean, I did have a five year break of singleness before I started doing this dating apps business.
Meliza Manalo 30:54
That's true.
Mia Russell 30:56
So I think it was time.
Meliza Manalo 30:58
I don't remember if I asked you in the last episode, but why did you want to download? What was like your moment where like, I'm going to download apps for dating?
Mia Russell 31:13
I just felt like it was time for me. And honestly, I went through a lot of work with my therapist. I think everybody should have therapy, to be honest. Everybody's a little bit, extra, needs help reining in some emotional energy and figuring things out in life. And therapists is a great way to do that. That being said, I worked with a therapist for a while before starting the dating routine. And making sure that I was ready for it emotionally, mentally and I guess spiritually, if you want to go there. I just decided to do it after a while and see what it was like. And I got a lot of encouragement from my therapist to just see what's out there type of thing. And if not for dating, just for friends. And just look at it not as you're not meeting up with a potential date, you're meeting up with a potential friend that could potentially lead to being something else. That made it a lot less anxiety inducing for me.
Meliza Manalo 32:31
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I agree. I think people, if that's what they're into, I like the whole fact that therapists are third party. They're not connected to you in any way.
Mia Russell 32:51
They will definitely call you on your bullshit.
Meliza Manalo 32:55
Yeah. But okay, cool. I don't think I knew. I don't think I knew that. Or maybe I did? I don't know.
Mia Russell 33:06
Well, it was a long time ago.
Meliza Manalo 33:07
Yeah, it was a long time ago. Thanks for sharing that.
Mia Russell 33:12
Of course. I just hope that it helps somebody else maybe get back out there.
Meliza Manalo 33:18
Yeah, definitely. Especially if people deal with anxiety and social anxiety. That's another thing why I don't think I'll do well. Because I don't want to say I have pretty bad social anxiety, but it does get kind of bad. I don't do well in unfamiliar territory, with unfamiliar faces. Like, I don't know how you do it, or how people do it. Like, how do you do it? Because you don't know the person. Maybe you know the person and that's great. I think that's so important that you go to a place that you know that you feel safe and comfortable. But like how do you just go and just meet someone and just have a one on one with a complete stranger? I don't know why it's so mind blowing.
Mia Russell 34:11
Yeah. Well personally, I always go to a place that I feel really comfortable at. And I kind of know the bartenders, so I know they have my back. If that's somewhere you can go or if you have a friend who works at a restaurant and maybe could keep an eye on you guys. I mean, obviously they're at work and they can't do that much. But if there's anything that you can do beforehand to figure out the situation, scope it out, I would definitely recommend doing that. The Internet helps me so much. Just reading reviews, and really figuring out the vibe of a place and then messaging the person a lot beforehand. Like I don't message someone like two or three times and I'm like, oh, hey, let's meet up. It's like a week or two of talking before any sort of meet up comes up on the table.
Meliza Manalo 35:14
Yeah, that makes sense. So at this new guy, well he's not new anymore. I got to establish that. How long did you guys talk before you went and actually saw each other for the first time?
Mia Russell 35:32
Um, I'm not sure I remember exactly how long it was, but it was at least a few weeks.
Meliza Manalo 35:40
I mean, which makes sense. Now with the pandemic.
Mia Russell 35:45
Yeah, because we had to find a place that was open, and we had to find a place I was comfortable with. I had to be comfortable with going there and meeting somebody alone. And yeah, so it took a while. Which is totally fine. If you're looking for the right person, you go your own speed. And if that doesn't work for them, it doesn't work for them.
Meliza Manalo 36:13
And I feel like if this person, like whoever you're talking to, wants a relationship and not a hook-up, I think they'd be willing to do like the back and forth chit chat before actually meeting in person, you know?
Mia Russell 36:26
Yeah. They surely can put in the footwork.
Meliza Manalo 36:29
Yeah. Because if they're rushing, then they just want to see you right there. And then, you know...
Mia Russell 36:34
Yeah, which is great if they want to see you and meet you. But if you're not comfortable right away, or if you haven't figured out the situation enough yet, that's not gonna happen.
Meliza Manalo 36:46
So when you talk to the guys like on Tinder or wherever. Or I guess, Tinder. Yeah, cuz that's the one you didn't want to do at first because it's just about booty calls or whatever. So, are you upfront with these guys?
Mia Russell 37:01
About relationship?
Meliza Manalo 37:04
Yeah.
Mia Russell 37:04
Yeah. That's like one of the first things I would ask especially on Tinder. Like, what are you looking for? What are you here for? Because I was there for relationship. And Tinder obviously has the reputation for being for hook-ups and stuff. And obviously, I was very entrenched in that idea that it was just for booty calls, hook-ups, friends with benefits type things.
Meliza Manalo 37:33
That's good that you're upfront about it. I guess that's important on Tinder.
Mia Russell 37:40
Yeah. I mean, I didn't want to waste anybody's time. Like I wanted what I wanted. And if they didn't want that, that was fine. I didn't want to start talking to someone and then a month later be like, oh, by the way. I want a real relationship, and not just something physical, and then just waste everybody's time.
Meliza Manalo 38:01
Yeah, exactly. Um, I want to ask you about the day but I know you said, you don't want to get too into it.
Mia Russell 38:13
The day was good. We went to the place that I always go to. And I felt comfortable. And we had dinner and one or two drinks and walked around a little bit, because there was nothing else to do because of COVID, and just talked the whole time and the conversation was pretty easy. And lots of laughing and stuff like that. And it went really well. I mean, I got pretty nervous when we were having the food and everything because when I get nervous, I can't eat. And I thought it was kind of weird, but he didn't say anything about it. So, that was nice.
Meliza Manalo 39:03
That's good. Maybe he knows. What did you order?
Mia Russell 39:10
I just got like a Pierogi appetizer. That was like five Pierogis with onions on top. Which, you know, looking back, onions aren't like the ideal thing to eat on a date. (Laughter)
Meliza Manalo 39:24
Yeah. I mean, I don't know if people are making out on the first day during COVID. But...
Mia Russell 39:29
Yeah.
Meliza Manalo 39:31
That's not really what I was thinking. That's a good one though. Pierogis. Pierogis is good because it's not like super messy and you can eat it with a fork.
Mia Russell 39:43
That's exactly what I go for it every time. Can I eat it with a knife and fork? Is it messy? And is there a lot of it so I don't have to eat all of it.
Meliza Manalo 39:54
Because I remember we talked about that.
Mia Russell 39:57
Yeah, I do get a very nervous stomach.
Continue to Part 2 to read the rest...