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S1E7 - Why I Didn't Talk About It

Updated: Nov 11, 2020

Episode Description:

In this episode, I talk about why I didn’t record an episode about the Black Lives Matter protests that happened at the end of May. I talk about how I had a plan to share my views about the protests and my views on the police force, but I decided against it and I explain why. I do talk about the importance of having your own voice and the importance of voting. People tend to lose their interest in the fight for justice when the protests dwindle down and the social media posts fade away, but the fight is never-ending. I hope that Americans feel empowered more than ever to vote and be an active participant in the decisions their community makes every day. Here’s the link to register:


Voter statistics:

Jo Jorgensen’s website:


Some parts of the transcript may be edited for better readability, but the content remains the same. Mostly removed duplicate words, vocal filler words, and added/removed some words for clarification. Added text are in fuchsia.


Hey everyone! This is Meliza and I'm the Talkative Introvert.

00:03 (Look guys! I figured out how to do timestamps LOL!)

Okay, so by the time of this recording, I am finally live and I have a couple episodes out and then I have one getting published in like three hours. So if you've listened to my previous episode, I kind of do a little update on my podcast journey at the beginning of the episode. And I really enjoyed sharing that and documenting that. So right now, I just have the three episodes out. And I didn't promote it. Like, I posted on Instagram, but I didn't have... I didn't share it with like everybody. I didn't even tell anyone. I just had my one friend who helped me with the artwork, she knew about it and then my other friend only because I just was so happen to like hang out with her. But I didn't like share it with anybody. Somehow though, people found me. So, my sister in law found me because it was suggested to her on Instagram and she just knew it was me because of my name. And I guess my name is pretty unique. Not true for the Philippines. Like, I searched my name up and like all other Melizas that spelled their name with the Z all live in the Philippines, I guess. So I'm just unique here in America.


And then my brother found me. And so he decided to have my mom listen to the episodes that I had out I had the first two out. And apparently my mom didn't know podcasts were a thing. She asked me she's like people listen to people talk? It's not her thing she was asking, "Like is that all you're gonna do is talk?" and I said, "Yeah, it's a podcast. It's what you do. And she's like, "Oh." She's definitely more into YouTube videos. She loves YouTube videos. And she watches my cousin who's a vlogger and she wants to do one too. So we'll see. If she does one. I will I'll link it.


But yeah, um, and then I told my best friend about it. So there's really just a small handful of people. And it kind of, it's weird, because now I know, they're listening, or I don't know if they're gonna continue to listen. Or they're just supporting, like, the couple episodes, but it is weird. Like, I think I feel more comfortable. Just knowing if my listeners are more strangers and not people I actually know. But... Oh, well. It's not like I kept my profile private or anything. Like, I am on Spotify and Google podcasts and Apple podcasts. So it's okay. Um, yeah, so, more on my podcast, no intro music, obviously, as you heard. I did find something like a royalty free song. So maybe I'll try that out in the next podcast. I don't know. Yeah.


So, I'm not gonna do these updates forever. Obviously, it's just at the beginning stages where I'm still learning how to do the podcast and trying to figure out like, my routine and all that. So hopefully, like, once I'm used to everything, and I'm getting things down, like I am actually getting better at it and understanding the software better understanding like where I upload my episodes, and like how to use the website, and I'm already listed and in all those other places. So I'm, you know, I'm up and running. And hopefully this just becomes like more routine and they understand. Like, they don't have to figure things out anymore. Yeah.


Okay. So kind of getting into the episode. So during the week of the protests, my second episode was released. So like I said, I have the two out right now. So the first one was my intro, and my second one was actually scheduled to release Monday and that was right after the protest started, and it was scheduled to do that already. Like I didn't, I didn't purposely do it on that Monday. It just so happens to work, I don't know, work that way. And so I didn't post on social media. You know, like I didn't tell anyone like I said earlier, I didn't want to be insensitive to what's going on in the world right now. Plus, I already mentioned that I wasn't going to go above and beyond with my promoting, because I still feel weird having my thoughts heard by random people, especially family even though they found me anyways. But it's still, yeah, still a little weird, but it's out there already. It's, it's done. And by the time you hear this episode, like, there's gonna be a few other episodes out.


And I really was only going to use my social media just to announce when an episode would go live in case people are following and like to know, like, when a new episode is out. So, I am though going to try to do an episode every Monday until the season ends. So that's my, my goal so far. So far, all my recorded episodes I have scheduled to go out on Mondays.


Um, so yeah... So if you don't know what the protests are about, which is odd, because first of all, like what rock do you live under? Because, like, how did you even find me? Anyways, okay, sorry. So in all seriousness, though, if you don't know what the protest is about, it started after the murder of George Floyd, who died in the hands of police officers. And it's about the numerous lives that were taken by the police, but as my husband said, you know, George Floyd was the straw that broke the camel's back. So even though numerous lives have been taken away by police officers, George Floyd, I guess, was the catalyst for these, these protests.


So the protest is about fighting against police brutality, fighting against the police forces' abuse of power, fighting against racism, and it's the fight towards equality and justice for all. And so I almost made an episode to speak about my views, my personal views and what, what I thought about the police force, my perspective and what's going on, I wrote a whole segment about it. And I was going to talk about the current events about like the peaceful protests, the riots, the looters, and I was going to record it and upload, actually, like earlier, like, I was going to change my schedule, so that can come like the week of the protest.


And I was ready to record because I was just so heated in the moment, I stayed up late, and I can't remember, it's like the the weekend of the protest, I stayed up late to write the segment. And it was like seven pages of bullet points and notes, like, single space. And most, you know, my... Well, you don't know, but my segments are usually not that long. My notes aren't that long, but I was just so heated in the moment that I just like was writing and writing and I stayed up late, and I spent time on it and all that. But before I recorded, I put it down, and I sat on that episode for a couple of days. And I decided, after reading it a few times, and really thinking about it, that I was not going to do the episode. In today's episode, I'll explain why.


So prior to this, I did a 'why am I starting this podcast' episode. And to recap and to add to it, I started this podcast as an outlet. You know, it's my, it's my hobby, it's something I wanted to do for fun, it's something I want to do, especially, for my own mental health. I'm not diagnosed with depression or anything like that, but I also don't believe you need to be diagnosed with anything to take care of your own mental state, you know? Like, people don't talk about it very often, but your mental state is just as important if not more important than your physical health. And so that's what this podcast is for. Like, it's a hobby that I enjoy. It's a hobby that I've wanted to do for a while now. And like now I've started doing I've really enjoyed doing it. And, for my mental health, like it really helps, you know? Especially this year, like, I feel like I need this podcast more than ever this year. Like I'm so glad that I started it. Because this is my, this podcast is my escape from the real, real world.


Like this is where I can be in my little podcast bubble. I get to be in the world in my head. Even just for this little bit, because it doesn't, you know, it's just like a few hours on a day that I'm free to do so. And it's just this little escape for me. You know, there's just so much going on, that I need something to give my mind a break. Like in case you've forgotten, we're still dealing with COVID-19 like it's not even done yet. We don't have a vaccine. Some states are still quarantining people, certain places are still not allowed to be open, you know, that includes like the gyms and the bars and the clubs and, you know, like these places that attract large groups of people. So, you know, we're still dealing with that at at this time, California is still in phase two, Ibelieve. So if you're not from California, Governor Newsom has a phase approach and reopening the state. And I believe - I have to check on it - but I believe it's like a four phase approach. But we're still only in phase two. So we're not even we're still not in the clear. So you know, we're still dealing with that. Apparently, there were a murder wasps or something. I don't know what happened to that. I never looked into that.


And then in California, there's these talks about furloughs for state employees. So I work for the state. Right now. As of right now, I don't know what's going to happen. And I guess we'll find out on June 15. I think that's when the governor and whoever on his team needs to talk about the budget, and it's gonna be, it's public, like anything about state employees is public. So we'll all find out about it in the news.


Also, it's summer, it's June. So don't forget about those famous California fires. And who knows what Mother Nature has in store for the rest of the country, you know, and then oh, and then on top of that, like, we have to pick out who's going to be the next president for the next four years. So all of that is already on my mind. So that's not even including the current protest. And we're only halfway through the year. So that's why I didn't talk about it. Like I'm already overwhelmed by what's already going on. And I just need a break. Like, I just need a break from the world. I need a break from everything's going on.


And honestly, like the Monday... So the Monday before blackout Tuesday, so June 1, I had a slight mental breakdown. I had to call my boss and tell her... I had apologized to her and I said, like, you know, I may not be super responsive today. Like, I was very emotional when I called her. And I did like, kind of, I was trying to hold back my tears and not let it like, try to not let it sound like I was crying. But you could... she can tell. I was just very emotional by everything that's going on, because everything had just started. And then, like, we're expected to go back to work like it's just a normal day, and I couldn't handle it, you know, like the protests and the riots and the looting just happened. And then I watched a bunch of videos, which was probably, um, made it even worse.


Like, I don't know, if you guys have been watching any of the videos. I mean, it's kind of hard not to it's like all over social media, and watching the news and like seeing people, like people who, even people who are just peacefully protesting, like seeing them getting hurt, and cars and buildings game set on fire and like stores getting looted and broken into. And these aren't stores - like, yeah, we saw the Apple Store and the T-Mobile store - but these stores also included small business owners, you know? Like, it's not just big corporations. And then we saw, like, when I say we, like my husband, we saw that police car that ran through a group of protesters. Like that was that was really hard to watch. And that's like, that's not like a TV show. That literally happened in real life. And like people getting tear gas and hit with rubber bullets and like bleeding. Like a kid got hurt, you know, a teenager got hurt.


And we live really close to the protests as well. Like, we live close to commercial places. And it was just all happening. And like it all happened within one weekend. And then Monday, I was supposed to just snap out of it and then go back to work nor- like go back to work and be productive and it just wasn't happening. I couldn't be productive. I was just like, I don't know, I didn't know how to explain how I was feeling, because it just all happened and I haven't let it processed yet. And then that night I also wrote that segment that I was gonna do.


So, I just started writing my outline. I didn't allow myself to let everything sink in first hours. I was caught up in my emotions when I was writing in which is probably why it was so long. But before I was about to record, like I said, so I decided to sit on it for a few days, you know? I talked to my husband about what's going on, I talked to some friends about what's going on, I talked to my sister in law. And ultimately, I just decided not to go through with it.


Like I said, this is my outlet, like, this is my escape from reality for a moment. And I wanted it, I want it to be that for my listeners to you know, because we all need a break. We all need a break, even if it's just a 30 minute or so podcasts. Because mental health is so important. I'm not dismissing what's happening. I am simply acknowledging that you shouldn't also dismiss your own individual mental health, like, it's so important to take care of yourself. And if you're out there, and if you're, you know, doing what you believe you're doing is right, like I suggest here and there, take a break. Like just take a little break, and then get back to saving the world again, you know what I mean?


So, I mean, I do have my views on the situation, obviously, I wrote seven pages of it. But I'm choosing to keep that separate from this podcast. I will do what I think I need to do, and I believe I should do, but I'm going to discuss that... But I'm not going to discuss that in this podcast. I will do that, like, with my own personal social media pages, and I will do what I think I need to do. But I don't want that to get into this podcast.


Because I do want to express this very, very important message about me:

I am not an influencer, nor do I claim to be one.

I am not a role model, nor do I claim to be one.


You know, famous YouTubers, influencers, podcasters, actors, whatever, they're expected by their fans to use their platform to spread awareness. And they're even scrutinized if they don't. And I get that because people look up to them, and they reach millions of people every day. So I get that. But I want my listeners to know that... to not... to... Don't ever look up to me. I am a very, very flawed human being. I am not an expert on anything at all. I just love to talk and read you guys articles I find on Google and ramble about my experiences and how they relate to the articles I find on Google. You know, like, I talked about being an introvert. I'm not, I'm not like telling you how you should think. I'm not telling you, you know, I'm not telling anyone like, what they should believe in or anything like that.


I want people to know that it's important to form your own opinions, because it's your voice. It's not somebody else's voice. It is your voice and yours alone. And I don't want anyone to ever take that away from you. Don't let anyone tell you what you should believe in. Like, it's important for you to do your due diligence to stay educated and stay informed, be empathetic. And understand - like this is an important one - understand all sides of the issue. And make your own judgment based on facts.


Because you don't know anyone's true intentions, you know? Like with these protests going on, obviously, people in the news, like famous people, everyone's all about getting into it and like talking about it. And you know, most media have their own agenda. They need those clicks, they need your clicks, they have to please their stakeholders, you know, they got bills to pay, you know? Most media pander to your emotions, because that's how they get the clicks, you know, and a lot of media likes to twist people's words, and they crop out pictures, and they just want you to see what... They choose what they want you to see.


Like a great example of this is there's this picture of these two white men protecting a, I believe is like a convenience store, snd the picture is cropped to only see these two white men, and they are deemed as white supremacists. But what people don't know is that there are two black men standing right next to them protecting the same convenience store and they're doing it together. And the owner of the convenience store, I believe is Middle Eastern.


But media decided, you know, we're going to crop this picture and we're only going to show these two white men and call them white supremacists. When they don't even show the full picture. They don't show the full story. And media does that time and time and time again. And so, I'm very, I'm very heated about that and I feel strongly about like people not ever using media as a sour- like a resource, because they, they tend to lie and not show the full picture. And it's so important, like, if you're going to form your own opinions to make sure that you look at unbiased information, unbiased resources, make judgments based on facts, you know, take emotion out of it. And just really understand situations. Like, understand these different What are they called, like reforms or different changes people want for, like, understand it, like fully before you make your decision, because something might sound good, but in the grand scheme of things may not work for all of society.


And so when you do form your voice, once you are educated, once you understand what's going on, once you understand what side you want to be on a certain issue, I recommend putting that voice into action. And what that means is exercising your right to vote. So yes, I said I'm a flawed human being. Don't look up to me, don't... I'm not influencer. I'm not a role model. You know, but if there's one thing that I feel confident about promoting, that I can promote, and I can say confidently is that, I believe it's so important to exercise your right to vote as an American citizen. This is something I feel strongly about, regardless of like, what your views are.


Like I said, if I'm going to promote something, I want to promote your right as an American citizen to vote, assuming, like, all of you guys are Americans, and over the age of 18. If you're not American, hi, from America. That's stupid. Okay, anyway, so as Americans, we have the right to vote, right? And what that means is that if you're unhappy with the government officials, you can do something about it. If you're unhappy about our current policies, you could do something about it. You know, we live in a democracy where we can vote on the policies in our community.


I understand like, not everyone wants to post their views onto social media, understandably, so because the internet can be such a mean, and awful place. And some people can't mentally handle that. And some people just want to do their part, silently, right? And then some people can't protest. You know, they're unable to do so. Some people don't have the means to donate to certain causes. But people can vote.


My hope during this, this whole thing, this, this whole movement that's going on is that people aren't just fighting for justice right now. Like I hope it's not this trend that is something they're going to do just this year. You know? When I talk about voting, I'm not talking about voting every four years during the presidential election. And even during the presidential election, it's not just about the president. Like, when you go to the ballots, you may wonder why do people take so long at the ballots? It's because you're not just voting for one person. You're voting for different props, and different like, initiatives going on in your community. It's not just the president alone. And then when I'm talking about voting, I'm also talking about local elections: your mayor, your governor, your senator, your city council members, and so on. Because local elections are important, if not more important than the presidential election, because I think people forget that presidents don't actually have as much power as you think they do.


Like, they're not... This isn't a dictatorship. They can't decide, like a law for everybody to abide by, you know, there has to be discussions made. There are people that are part of the Congress, that have weigh in on like new laws are passing. So it's not just the one guy or lady, hopefully, someday. Because there are a lot of issues that the President will defer to the governors to handle. Like if you listen, if you listen to the news, like if you listen to hear Trump speak, you'll hear like he'll defer to the governors. And it's not just him. You'll hear that from other presidents that they defer to the governor's to decide what to do in their state.


Like with the whole quarantine, he deferred to the Governor's to decide whether they're going to do a quarantine and what that means for their state because every state is different. So that's why it's so important to do your local elections on top of the presidential election, because a lot of issues are done at the state level. And even the governor will sometimes defer to the mayors. And so it goes down to like the city level, like the county level, the local level. And so if we're unhappy, we have this ability to have our voices heard at the ballots.


And I hope people aren't just heated by the current protests, and decide to only vote this one time. Because it's an ongoing fight. You know, we see it time after time, people will go out to protests. And you know, they post their little, their little thing on social media. But then they're done afterwards. They're like, okay, I did my part, I was there. I was there walking with everybody and I posted stuff on social media. And apparently, that's enough, but it's not enough. And I know that people aren't exercising their right, because there's articles about it.


Like this one, so I'll link this one. And it's statistics taken from 2018. So in 2018, only 53% of people voted and according to the article, that's a high percentage. So that's telling me that on average, not even half of America votes. Less than half of the people exercise their right, yet, time and time after time, people are outraged by the political outcomes. They're completely outraged. And if the outcomes don't represent the voice of the majority, that just means that not enough people went out to vote, like it's that simple.


Like, yes, yes, it's hard, hard work, and doing the research and all that. And people sometimes like to write overly complicated props, and it's confusing to understand. And you have to do your due diligence to really understand the situation and understand what people are proposing. But it affects our everyday way of living, you know? Like, the people of America also need to vote, like exercise their right to vote, in order to keep the politicians in line, make sure there's justice for all.


Don't forget, these politicians are public servants. They serve us, the people, they're supposed to be with us, the people. Not against us. They take an oath to protect us and to protect our rights. So let's make sure they do so, let's make sure that we vote for the right leaders and put them in these positions. And let's make sure we fight for justice, because fighting for justice is a never ending battle. There will always be good and bad people. Plain and simple. There will always be good and bad people.


There'll be people who try to take advantage of their role in politics and their leadership role. And we need to make sure that they don't take advantage of us. They don't take advantage of the people. Then I just learned this literally last night. But apparently there's a third candidate. I didn't even know. So her name is Jo Jorgenson. So I haven't looked into her yet. I don't know, all of her policies or anything like that. And she's also a libertarian, so she's not a Democrat or Republican. But quite honestly, maybe we're ready for that. Maybe America is ready to get out of that democrat versus republican state of mind. Like maybe we should look into going for a different party, you know, because it's clearly doesn't work.


Because when a democrat president gets voted into office, then all the republicans are outraged. And then when a republican president goes into office, and all the democrats are outraged, and there's this divide in the country between the two political parties, and honestly, like, it's, it's not productive at all. And, you know, maybe this libertarian president, maybe she can help us, maybe she is the key to harmony. I don't know. I don't know. I need to look into her more.


I was thinking of making an episode about understanding the different parties since now that we have the three parties we can vote for, like doing a factual… Like I said, it's important to have your own voice and to form your own opinions. Don't listen to people. They all have an agenda. So I wanted... maybe, maybe I'll do this like before November, like doing an episode explaining libertarians versus democrats and libertarians versus Republicans, Democrats versus republicans and like understanding that. I don't know. I'll think, I'll think on it. (I didn’t end up doing this. Sorry. I ended up doing a rant instead LOL!) Because I think it is important to understand the different parties and understand where your belief lies, like, not just listening to the media and tell you... because they're always attacking each other, right, like democrats think all republicans are bad people. And then republicans think all democrats are bad people, which is stupid, but whatever. I want to share the facts. And hopefully, that will help you shape your voice and understand like your actual beliefs, and not just what people want you to believe.


So, in conclusion, 2020 is a year to remember. And definitely will end up in the history books, I can see it now. And this podcast, again, is my outlet, and I hope it can be for you as well. Again, again, again, again, I am not an influencer or a role model. Don't believe everything you hear or see. Be skeptical of the information that is shared to you.


And lastly, please go out and vote. Please go out and vote.


Hope you enjoyed listening to this random broad ramble. I will include a link to register to vote, some hopefully unbiased, factual resources and I will also link Jo Jorgensen's website. So again, I'm not promoting her or anything. But I do want to acknowledge that we do have a third candidate and she though she's not Democrat or Republican, I think it's time to consider a different party to lead this country. And I think she's worth mentioning, and worth acknowledging, and hopefully, you know, hopefully, she has really good policies, and hopefully she has a good belief system for this country. Because we do need change, we need change desperately. I'm excited to do my research on her and see if she's a worthy candidate of my vote.


And yeah, so again, so if you like what you hear, I will go back to my normally scheduled broadcasting of talking about introverts, introvert types. I do... I will add in other topics in there, obviously not just all about introverts. I will think on doing the whole libertarian versus democrat versus republican views. And so that there's like that informative episode about that, especially since we're in... it is election year, so?


Yeah, so if you like what you hear, follow me on social media, I'm on Instagram, Facebook. I am not on Twitter. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna do Twitter. I don't like Twitter. And it's just not my thing. But yeah, if you want to start a conversation with me, please follow me on social media. You can email me if you don't like social media, that's totally fine. I'll add my gmail account. And yeah, so I will talk to you guys in the next episode.


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