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S1E25 - I'm Very Tired

Episode Description:

With everything going on in the world, I feel like it is definitely affecting my psyche. I’m very tired and very exhausted from it all. I did go into a little political rant, but it’s probably not what you’re thinking. I’m not necessarily discussing which party is better than the other. I also give a bit of a podcast journey update. This marks my 25th episode, which according to Buzzsprout, is a milestone! Thanks so much for all of you who have listened and stuck around. Thanks to everyone who has commented or rated and reviewed the podcast. I’m glad you think it’s interesting enough to listen too.


Some parts of the transcript may be edited for better readability, but the content remains the same. Mostly removed duplicate words, vocal filler words, and added/removed some words for clarification.


Hey, everyone! This is Meliza, and I'm the Talkative Introvert.


Today, I don't really have a specific topic in mind, I am just going to talk. It's weird, but I guess talking to this mic and doing this podcast is actually very therapeutic. You know, as I didn't know what to talk about, I have a spreadsheet full of different topics, actually. But I couldn't figure out what I want. What I wanted to do with this episode. I don't know. I don't know if you can hear in my voice. But I'm very tired. I'm sure everyone is very much aware that there's an election going on. I mean, it's everywhere. I feel like America is on display right now. And I feel like the other countries are just, I don't know, sitting on their couches, eating popcorn, and just watching Americans tear each other apart. It makes me wonder what everyone thinks about us. Like, I'm really curious about what other Americans who moved out of the country think about what's going on, what other people in different countries think about us and what's going on. I would love to talk to someone about that. I don't really know anyone outside of the country. I mean, I know my family in the Philippines. But other than that, I don't have any close friends or anything outside of the country. So, I'm curious, though, if you want to talk about it, hit me up. I can't pay you or give you anything. But I'm totally down to chat about it. If you're interested in sharing how people in your country view us right now. Anyways, I am very much over it. And very much over the politics as I'm sure a lot of people are. But we are still in it. I don't know what's going to happen when this episode comes out. But right now, we're still counting. We're still counting all of the mail-in ballots, I believe. I mean, that's why it's taking so long. I kind of stopped watching the news and stopped all of that, I guess. It's just hard to be on social media right now. And it's hard to watch the news and really just watch anything right now. Because there's just so much negativity coming from both sides, mind you, and it's really getting to me. I guess that's why I'm so exhausted. I thought maybe I was burned out because of work. But work is fine, honestly. It's easy. I actually ran out of work. So, I need to talk to my manager about what else I can do. I think I'm just burned out from life and from the world. And from everything that's going on, around me and during this whole entire year. And through quarantine. I am so tired of social media, I need to just not go on it, to be honest. I don't know why I keep going on it. I feel like it's just a daily... it's just habitual. You know, it's just something that you do or what people do normally. So, that's why I keep going on it. But maybe I should just, I don't know, delete the apps or something or just take them out of my main screen on my phone. Because you can't even go on social media anymore without seeing people attack each other. It's very toxic, and it's very hateful. You know, every meme is political. Every forum turns into some political discussion. every conversation you have with someone becomes political. It's also very, very tiring. And I'm very, very tired of this duopoly platform. It just feels like we're in the middle of a war about whose lives matter more. That probably sounds weird. And I don't know if I can even explain this properly. Like, how I feel.


Let's take BLM, for example. My understanding of what 'BLM' is or 'Black Lives Matter' movement is that they're not saying that only black lives matter. Rather, they're saying that they matter too. They're saying that the lives of color people are not being valued and treated as equally and fairly as others, right? That's my understanding of it. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. I'm not an expert anything. But that's just what I think about it. Honestly, maybe they should just rename it to 'BLMA' or 'BLMT' you know. 'Black Lives Matter also' or' Black lives matter too'. So that it doesn't confuse people. Because you do have these extremist, right? They've been around. For every single movement in history, there's always been extremist, where they take the movement, and they twist it. And they, I don't know, they ruin it basically, for the people who are fighting for this movement. Because they take the power of the movement, and they've turned it into a race war between black people and white people. And people are literally attacking white people for simply being white, and then saying it's justified. Because it's their turn now or something or it's giving them a taste of their own medicine. They're essentially fighting racism with more racism, which I don't agree with. I don't think that's productive in any way. I think it's counterproductive. I think it's wrong, you know, you're trying to fight to end racism. So, why would you add more racism? Like, it doesn't make any sense to me. But what do I know, right? Anyways, so it sucks when people do that. When you get these extremist groups, and they take the power away, and they take the real power and the attention away from the actual problem. Instead, what they do, like these extremists, what they do, is that they're making people of color look bad, they're making the movement look bad. They're basically validating people's prejudice, prejudices by doing that. It's like when... it's like during the #metoo movement. And this has happened before. Even before the #metoo movement. But when a woman falsely accuses a man of rape, because she wants to ruin his life. But when someone does that, they take that power away from the actual victims. And then it causes skepticism amongst the justice system and their jurors, you know? People are wondering if this lady actually is a victim, or she's just trying to, you know, ruin somebody's life. And that's really messed up to do. Because there are real victims out there who are not getting justice, because people are willing to take power away from someone and abuse that power for their own agendas. Like, I don't know. It sucks. Like, I hate that people do that. And we're seeing that a lot in this election. With all the things that people are trying to accomplish and fight for, you get all these extremists who... they ruin it, they simply just ruin it for everybody. And they take the power away from the real cause.


Anyways, back to my point, I don't know if I even made my point clear, but the election just feels like it's just a war between two different types of people. And they're fighting about whose lives should be valued more over the other or something like that. That's what it feels like. Like we're... Because no matter who wins, people's lives are going to drastically change. Because this is more than a political war. It is a war on human value. It's a fight between what type of human is more valuable. When in reality, all human lives should be valued equally. Does that make sense? Okay, so, for example, liberals are a certain type of people, and conservatives are another type. And so, it's this fight between which type is "better" or "right". Air quotes around those words. Air quotes because what's better or right to someone isn't necessarily what's better or right to someone else, you know? That's why politics is so hard. Because how are you supposed to please the masses. There is about 326 million people living in America. That's a lot of people. Of course, no one's gonna see eye to eye. Even people within the same political group, may not see eye to eye. That's why for me, I'm a libertarian. Honestly, I didn't want to share that fact about me. But you know what? Screw it. Like I hate the duopoly. I think it's dumb. It's clearly not working, and all it's doing is dividing people. I hope that in my lifetime, I get to see a President, who is not a Democrat or a Republican, take office. They don't even have to be libertarian. Just someone else. There's so many other parties out there, you guys. So many. We don't have to pick the lesser of two evils if people would just realize that. And of course, there's some conspiracy theorists who would say it doesn't matter. It's all rigged. And honestly, who knows? Maybe it is. Maybe it is right. And that's why we keep ending up with terrible choices. But if there isn't a secret society trying to divide and conquer, then it's just people not realizing how much power they actually have. You know, we don't have to be just two parties. We literally can form a completely new party if we wanted to, right now. I mean, it's too late for election. But in four years, we can literally create just a brand-new party. And if everyone agrees, then we can just be in that new party. That's how easy it is to create a new party. But for this election, people kept saying, we have to vote for one of the lesser evils. But you don't. If you don't like either candidate, guess what? You don't have to vote for them. If no one was happy with the choices that we got, we have the power to mark a different circle on the ballot. You literally had to just pick up your pen and pick someone else. Like that's how easy it was. There are other people on the ballot believe it or not. It's not just Trump or Biden. Jo Jorgensen made it to all 50 ballots. Howie Hawkins made it onto... what is it? 30 ballots. There's... even Kanye is on there. I mean, I wouldn't have voted for Kanye, but he's on there. You know, we wanted him to be President, I guess. But there are other choices is what I'm trying to get at. You don't have to pick the two.


Sorry, I wasn't going to make this episode political. But it is the season, right? I'm mostly just tired of the people in the posts. To me, it just doesn't seem logical to constantly spread hate and to constantly demean and put someone down. Because they don't share the same political beliefs as you. People are simply bullying each other. That's what it comes down to. They're just bullying you. It doesn't benefit anyone to do that. To berate someone constantly on social media, it's not going to make them want to change their minds. In fact, it probably does the complete opposite effect. It probably provides them confirmation that they should just stay with their original choice. So, why do you think that's okay to do? And why do you think that's even useful or beneficial to do? If it's, I mean, even going to inform them or educate them or anything, what's the end goal there to bully them to the point that they change their minds? Because I don't think that's working. Like instead, you should explain your side in a very educational way. So that people understand why you're for that side. You know, like, why the hate? Like why do you have to bully people? What's the point? How does that benefit anyone? Like all that does is cause more division, causes anxiety, causes anger, causes hate. There's no positives, literally none. There's none. So, I don't understand. Like, I just don't. There's no logic or reason behind bullying. But that's just where we're at, I guess. Anyways, rant over. Let's switch topics. How about a podcast update? Wohoo! This is Episode 25, you guys. I am a quarter of the way to 100. And I am almost done with season one. If you listen to my early episodes, I used to do a podcast journey segment at the beginning of my episodes. Did you know that referring to things as a journey is apparently a millennial thing? I saw a meme about that the other day. And it made me laugh because I do refer to things as journeys. Didn't realize that was a thing. But apparently, that's what millennials do. They refer to everything as a journey. So, here's my podcast journey update. I did update my website. Nothing crazy. Just the homepage. I may work in IT, but I'm not a developer. I don't even know how to run a website. I just used Wix. So, the biggest news on my website is the fact that I added transcripts. So, I made a mistake, you guys. I don't know why I started to do this now. What I should have done, was start to do transcripts for season two. But I already started season one. And I can't just like, put some up and not all of them. So, I'm working on that. It takes a long time because I'm trying to catch up. I only have six right now. I don't know when this episode airs, how many more I'm going to have? But I do have six up right now. And this is Episode 25. Why did I do this to myself, you guys? Why? But I can't not do it. Because I have to finish it. Ugh, whatever. I'm gonna get it. I'm trying to get up there as fast as possible so I can catch up. And I originally wanted to transcript because it's a great place to write comments. So that you don't have to scroll through old post if you don't listen to my episodes on the exact day that they come out. You can still listen to old ones and comment on them. You do have to create an account, though. And I think you can create an account using either Facebook or Google account. But I'm not going to use any of your information. I wouldn't know how to anyways, like I said. I don't even know how to run the website, much less like user information for any other reason. I do think though, by default, you do get notified when I post a new blog or something onto the website. But you can just unsubscribe from that. That's by default. Like I don't know how to turn that off. So, sorry.


But yeah. So, the transcripts are going up. I mainly did it so that there's a place to comment about the episode and start a conversation. If you guys want to ever do that. There's also YouTube. I do upload my videos to YouTube. And you can comment there. Either way, I'll respond. Not a lot of people comment anyways. So, it's easy to respond. I don't know how bigger podcasts or bigger YouTubers do it. Like some people, they will comment on majority of their comments. And that's kind of crazy. That's too much for me, to be honest. If I ever get too famous, which I highly doubt, but if I ever do get famous, I don't think I have the energy to do that. Maybe I'll just hire someone to do. Maybe that's what they do. They just hire someone to respond to comments for them. I don't know. Who knows? Anyways, so that's kind of the biggest news. I am almost at 1000 downloads, which is kind of crazy. Like I've said this before, multiple times, but I wasn't even expecting, like 10 downloads. I wasn't even expecting like 100 downloads. And now I'm almost at 1000. So, that's pretty awesome. Like, thanks, guys for listening. I'm glad you think this is interesting enough. I'm shocked, to be honest. I'm shocked that people do listen to me. But I'm happier here. I'm glad you guys find it interesting. And I'm glad there's someone out there listening to me talk away and babble. Yeah, so that's the biggest thing about my podcast right now I just got. I'm working on the transcripts. And then this is Episode 25. And the season is almost over you guys. I'm going to take a break and do seasons. Like I said in an early episode. I'm listening back on the episodes, right? Because I'm doing the transcripts. And man, I definitely do get better. I think I talk better. I said 'like' and 'So' and 'Umm' so many times. It was so cringy listening to me. And cringy like... I just said like. So cringy editing the transcripts. If you go on my website and check out the transcripts, I did put a disclaimer on there that I did edit the transcripts a little bit. Because there's so many vocal fillers, oh my god. It was impossible to read. I don't know who would even read this. So, I did try to clean it up a little bit, just so that people can actually understand what's going on in the episode. It's definitely mind opening, I guess, how I talk. Because I am in... well, I'm not in it anymore. But when I started in IT, I was in DQC. Deliverable Quality Control. Which can also be DQA, which is Deliverable Quality Assurance. So, I did a lot of document reviews. And I did a lot of reviews for formatting and grammatical... for grammar. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm so tired. So, I did check for a lot of formatting and grammar in my job. That's kind of what I do. And I restructure sentences for better flow and readability. That was my entire job. With that said, reading the transcripts and listening to myself talk and reading at the same time, I realized that the way I write is most definitely not how I talk. I definitely write more eloquently. And it definitely flows better than I talk. Obviously, though, no one talks like how they write. That'd be kind of weird. If they did, huh? I guess coming from a quality assurance background, it is kind of difficult to not edit the whole thing. But I tried really hard not to just completely rewrite my entire transcript. Because that's not the point of a transcript. So, but I did try to just edit it just a tiny bit, just a little bit just to make it a little easier to read. And I didn't cut too much stuff out of there. It's mostly just removing vocal fillers or duplicate words or trying to add notes in there to clarify some of my thoughts. I realized that I tend to say a sentence or start a sentence, but then not finish what I'm about to say, because then I backtrack.


And I do that a lot. And so, when you're reading it, it sounds... or it doesn't sound. It reads weird. Because I start a sentence, then I stop. And then I start a new sentence with a new thought because I need to reference that thought first before I go back to the other sentence if that makes sense. Anyways, it was just weird. I didn't like reading the transcripts, honestly. But maybe it makes me more aware about how I talk. And maybe they'll help me talk a little better. Or at least help people understand me better. That's what I want. I want to be able to talk in a way that people understand. I don't know, whatever. Like I said, I'm tired. Anyways, in conclusion, this is kind of just a long-winded episode, just to basically tell you guys though, that I am taking a break. So, with everything that's going on, I decided I think it'd be a good idea for me to take a break from everything, actually. So, this episode will come out... Let's see, let's look at the calendar. November 9th. So, November 16, I'm going to take a break. And so, there won't be a new episode after this one. But I will have a new one come out for Thanksgiving week. I want to do a little Thanksgiving related episode just to celebrate the holidays. Then I'll take a Thanksgiving break. So, the 30th, I won't have an episode. And then after that, in December, I will only have three episodes. So, I'll do the 7th, 14th and 21st and do a little Christmas special one. And then that will be the end of season one. And then I'm going to take another break in... basically just prep for the following season. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if I'm going to stick to a theme or just do what I did with this season and just talk about whatever I can think about. Either way, I just want to let you guys know, no new episode next Monday. I think I need to take a break from just everything. I'm taking a few days off from work, too. So, hopefully that'll help with my exhaustion. Anyways, I'll be back to do a Thanksgiving episode. And then, yeah. Thanks for making it this far into the episode. Sorry for the little rant earlier, but it's kind of nice to have it out. It's kind of nice to talk about it. Anyways, my friend is coming over, and we're gonna watch 'The Mandalorian' soon. So, I'm gonna get ready for that.


Alright you guys, that's a wrap. Thanks so much for listening. And you guys know if you listen to my episodes. Here's my little 'If you enjoy the show and want to stay in the know, please follow me on social media' plug. I'm on Facebook, on Instagram. I got my website All the information is on the website as well as in the show notes. Go check it out. Please support the show. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell everybody how interesting I am. Oh my goodness. I'm going insane. Thanks so much. And I'll talk to you guys in the next episode.

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