S1E22 - Body Dysmorphia & Me

Episode Description:

In this episode, I’m going to talk about Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). This is kind of a continuation from my Therapy episode. Go check that out if you haven’t heard it already. I’m going to talk about how I got into therapy and how I associate with BDD. I briefly explain what BDD is and some of the symptoms.


If you want to know more about BDD, please go check out the BDD Foundation website at https://bddfoundation.org/. They have some great resources to get you started.


Here is the book I mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Mothers-Daughters-Body-Image-Ourselves/dp/1682613542


Here is the yoga challenge: https://www.amazon.com/30-Day-Yoga-Weight-Loss/dp/B07LB93TG3


Disclaimer:

Some parts of the transcript may be edited for better readability, but the content remains the same. Mostly removed duplicate words, vocal filler words, and added/removed some words for clarification.


Transcript:

Hey, everyone! This is Meliza, and I'm the Talkative Introvert.


00:08

In today's episode, I'm going to talk about body dysmorphic disorder or BDD. And how it relates to me. But before I do that, I did want to read out another Apple Podcast review. So, if you've been listening to my previous episodes, I've been asking people to please help support the show by rating or reviewing the podcast to help kind of get it out there. And, you know, spread the word if you will. For today, I wanted to share one review by 'irishdanceizlyfe'. So, just based on that username, I think I know who this is from. But regardless if I know you or not, I appreciate you going out and taking the time to leave me a review. And I am so thankful for it. So, the review is, "Such a simple question, but one that everyone should ask themselves at some point in life: Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert? I love the way this information is discussed. It’s presented in a way that’s relatable. Everyone can take something away from this podcast. Highly recommended!!" Thank you so much for that review. That means a whole lot. And I am glad that you like it enough to put a review and you like it enough to recommend it to others. So, thanks so much. If you leave a review, I will feature it in a future episode. Okay, so back on topic. If you haven't heard it yet, I did an episode not too long ago about being in therapy. So, this is kind of like a continuation from that episode. If you haven't heard it already, please go check it out. It's just called 'Therapy'. It's kind of like an intro. Because there's other subjects I want to talk about. But I realized I couldn't really talk about without first addressing the fact that I'm in therapy. So, it's like a little intro episode. It's not that long. I think it's like, I don't know, half an hour or something like that. But yeah, so yeah, if you didn't hear that episode, yes, I am in therapy. And what I mentioned in that episode, too, that I was very hesitant about posting it just because like, the stigma behind it. And letting you know, having it be public and having friends and family find out if they do listen to this episode. So, assuming they do. I don't know if they do. But I realized that there shouldn't be any stigma about it. And if I am the type of person to endorse therapy, and I think it's a very beneficial, you know, thing to do. If you really need the help, then why should I be ashamed of it as well? But I do want to mention, like, I know, some people think that therapy is kind of like, a last resort, or it's something very, very serious. Like, you must have a really awful life or a horrible life, you're horribly depressed. And that's not really the fact, right? Like, it can be not saying it's not. But it doesn't necessarily mean like you feel like it's the end of the world. You can just go to therapy just for one issue or what have you, you know. It doesn't necessarily mean you're just overly depressed and suicidal and you think your life is the worst. Because I mean, I do believe I have a good life. I have a very loving husband, a beautiful dog, a great support system. You know, during this pandemic, I didn't lose my job, which is very good. So, I still have a job, I still have a roof over my head, I still have a working car. So, you know, I do have a fairly good life, I think. I'm a fairly happy person. However, with that said, what I struggle with a lot is my self-image. Which might be apparent considering I am doing a podcast rather than like a YouTube channel. Which I mean, not saying that people who do a podcast have a self-image problem. But that is a reason why I prefer a podcast over a YouTube video. Because in all honesty, I do love podcast... podcasts. And I do listen to it almost every morning especially when I walk my dog, I do listen to a podcast every morning. But I mean, I do mostly watch YouTube videos, and I follow a lot of YouTubers, so... But you know, I like podcasting and apparently you guys like my episodes too. So yeah.


04:47

Anyways, so in my therapy episode, I didn't really talk about why I started therapy. And so again, like I said I do have a fairly good life. However, I do struggle with my self-image. I originally thought I have, like, I had an eating disorder. And I don't think I do. I mean, I'm not diagnosed or anything like that. But the reason why I thought I had an eating disorder is because I watched that Demi Lovato documentary on YouTube. I don't know if you guys... if I can find it. I don't know if it's still on YouTube. But if I can find it, I'll link it if you guys want to watch it. It's pretty interesting. Like, it's interesting to learn about her life. But I guess she has an eating disorder. And she was explaining some things in the documentary that I thought like, oh, I kind of do that. So, do I have an eating disorder? And it went down, like this whole rabbit hole on Google. And was trying to research it. And I forgot what website, but I did stumble upon a website. I'm sure if you Google it, you'll probably find it. But I did stumble upon a website that had you take a quiz or a test. And there's like a scoring system. And if you score it above, I don't know, 20 or something like that, that you should seek help. So, I did take something similar to that. So, it's not very... like I don't know how reliable it was. But it was still enough for me to think maybe I should just talk to a therapist. Instead of going through articles after articles and being unsure and not really knowing, you know, whether I do or not. I figured, you know, I'll just reach out to a professional therapist and figure it out. Especially, I did mention in the therapy episode, too, that because we are in the pandemic, my job offered free sessions. So, for me, it wasn't a big deal. Like, originally, maybe a couple years ago, I was thinking about going into therapy, or just like testing it out. But it's super expensive. So, I was like, yeah, my life isn't terrible. So, I just didn't bother. And I didn't want to spend the money. So, with COVID actually, with the free sessions, I figured well, what harm is it to just check it out? See if I like it, see if maybe it'll be helpful with some of the problems I have. And I don't know, there's no impact. Either way, if I don't like it, I'll just stop. If I do like, then I can continue and still have those free sessions. So yeah, anyway, so back to Demi Lovato. So, yeah. So, I thought I had an eating disorder, blah, blah. And then I talked to my therapist. And then I forgot what happened, but I also went down another rabbit hole. Learning about body dysmorphic disorder or BDD. So, I'm going to call it BDD going forward. Because it's just too long, way too difficult to keep saying. So, I did go down another rabbit hole. And I looked at BDD because I didn't know what it was before. I just knew what eating disorders were. And after researching about BDD, I think I stumbled upon it watching a YouTube channel or YouTube video. I don't know. I don't remember how I learned about BDD. But I didn't know about it before. And it's just... it's something new that I learned about. Anyways, so going down that rabbit hole, I realized I think I resonate more with BDD than I do with an eating disorder. Because with an eating disorder... Like, I don't know everything about eating disorders or anything. But I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I don't really binge eat. I don't like... I don't know. I'm not a professional. So, I don't know what I'm saying. But I don't think I resonate with that as much as I do with BDD. So, that's why I thought I have that instead. So, I am talking to my therapist about it and trying to figure that out.


09:22

And so... oh, I do want to put a disclaimer. I'm sure you've already guessed by now, but I am not a professional. I just Google documents and read random articles. And that's where I get my info from. So, I'm not a professional. I'm not educated. Please, just, if you think you have it, I would highly suggest you talk to a professional to make sure that you actually do have and it's not something else. But yeah. So, a lot of my information I'm going to read out in this episode comes from the BDD Foundation website. So, I will link that in the show notes. I feel like... I mean, I'll go through some stuff. But if you want further information, go check out that website. It has a lot of great resources. They also have videos. And if you think you have BDD, they do have links in there to help you. Like help you get the help you need. So, please go check that out in the show notes. I'm also not professionally diagnosed with BDD, as well. I think that's something I have to go through my doctor, which I haven't done. And I don't know if I'm going to. I don't know if it matters to me to be professionally diagnosed. But this episode is kind of just going over what BDD is, and why I resonate with it. And if it's something that is really similar to you, or maybe you resonate with as well. It's kind of... this episode is kind of like awareness. It's like therapy for me to talk about it. But it's also awareness for you the listener. Because if you struggle with the same things I struggle with, you may or may not have BDD. But if you do, there's like a ton of resources out there. And I'll link the BDD Foundation website in the show notes. So, you could go and check that out.


11:22

All right. So BDD, what is it? So BDD is characterized by a preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in appearance, which is unnoticeable to others. Sometimes the flaw is noticeable, but it's a normal variation or is not as prominent as the sufferer believes. Also, individuals with BDD often feel defined by their flaws. BDD usually developed at adolescence. Which I mean, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I'm not surprised by that fact. BDD is also hard to get an actual count, but the known percentage is about 2% of the population. However, it can be more than that. So, according to the website, it is recognized as a hidden disorder, as many people with BDD are too ashamed to reveal their main problem. I also want to mention that I was also mistaken in my previous episodes, in the therapy episode, like towards the end, I mentioned that this may resonate more with women. But I actually found out that both men and women suffer from this equally. And then in the website, it said at least in the West. So, I don't know if that means. I don't know what that means by the West. Like America? I don't know. But apparently, like in the West, it's equal between men and women. They both suffer from it equally. But I did listen...oh listen? I did watch a YouTube video about BDD. And apparently there is a rise in men now suffering from BDD. So maybe, I don't know. I didn't really go into why that is. So, I'm wondering maybe men are more open about it nowadays. Or maybe men are feeling more pressure to look a certain way, unlike before? I'm not sure. So, I didn't look into that. And it couldn't find too much about that. So, I did think that was interesting, though, that they are... that men are now suffering from it more. Yeah, more than before. So, that is pretty interesting. Like it makes me wonder what happened in our society for that to happen. Okay, so the difference between men and women, though. So, there is a difference, or there's not very much of a difference. But the main differences are the areas that they are focused on. So, I also learned that men who suffer from BDD has a lot of focus on their genitalia, their body build and thinning or balding of the hair. Whereas women are more focused on skin, stomach, weight, breast, buttocks, thighs, legs, hips, and excessive body hair, which is a lot. I guess I agree with all that. So, it's a lot more focus areas than the men. It kind of... the women's kind of just encompass your whole body though. Okay, anyways.


14:35

Alright, so the symptoms are being extremely preoccupied with a perceived flaw in appearance that to others can't be seen or appears minor, strong belief that you have a defect in your appearance that makes you ugly or deformed. Belief that others take special notice of your appearance in a negative way or mock you. Engaging in behaviors aimed at fixing or hiding the perceived flaw. They're difficult to resist or control such as frequently checking the mirror, grooming or skin picking. Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling makeup or clothes, constantly comparing your appearance with others, frequently seeking reassurance about your appearance from others, having perfectionist tendencies, seeking cosmetic procedures with little satisfaction, and avoiding social situations. So, after reading those symptoms, I feel like some people might say that "Well, I kind of resonate a little bit with all of those points. So, do I have BDD"? And for me, from my understanding, well, it depends, you know? I think the problem is when a person's perceived flaws, control how they live their day to day lives. Like those flaws and their self-image affect what they do every day and the choices that they make every day. So, if you're so preoccupied with your flaws that gets in the way of living your life fully, maybe you have BDD. But again, you know, I would check out the website, and the website actually has a quiz that you can take that scores you. Of course, that's not a diagnostic or diagnosis. You still have to go get that professionally done. But it might help you kind of understand whether you are or not, and whether maybe you should seek help. So why do I think I had BDD? So, I may or may not have it. But I do highly resonate with it. So, I guess maybe I do have it? I don't know. Um, and so, one of the questions I did ask myself was like, well, do I like who I am? And yes, I do love who I am now. Like, I think I've messaged mentioned that like before, in previous episodes. I do like who I am now. And I know that the keyword is now. Because like, I'm not in my early 20s anymore. Like I'm nearing 30, I'm going to be 29 in a couple of months. And I'm not really in that finding myself phase. I know for you guys, if you guys are my age, if you remember that like in your early 20s. And like during college and the little after college, you're kind of just trying to figure out who you are and figure out where you fit in this world and how you want to be as an adult and all that and blah, blah, blah. And I feel like I'm kind of phasing out of that. And I feel like I'm kind of becoming who I probably will be for the rest of my life. I mean, I don't know. I so I'm... you know, again, I'm only gonna be like 30. So, I may change later on. But I feel like I'm at a point where this is... I'm comfortable with who I am. And I like who I am, personally. Like, internally. Because I have grown a lot since my early 20s. I do feel like I am more positive now. I used to get angry a lot. I mean, I still get angry. But I used to have a really bad temper. I got it from my dad. But only select people have seen me absolutely angry. So, there's not a whole lot of people who have seen me. And I used to get angry more frequently. But I feel like that's kind of... I've grown a little out of that. So, I'm not as angry as I used to be. And I let go of things a little more. Like I don't hold grudges like I used to. I'm sure there's still some things I still hold. I can't think of any right now. But it's not as bad as it used to be. And then I also feel like as I'm getting older, I'm also having more empathy, which I feel like it's the biggest change. And the biggest change for me. Because like, if you guys listen to my INTJ episode, INTJs kind of have difficulty with reading emotions and just emotions in general. But as I'm getting older and as I'm growing and as I'm also growing as a partner with my husband, we've been together for 13 years. And he's kind of taught me a lot about empathy. And try understanding people's emotions and understanding all that jazz.


19:27

And also, along with that, being more empathetic. I also try as much as possible to not talk badly about people. And that's really, really hard for me to do. Because that's all my family does is gossip. And some things are like, okay, like you can't help it. You know, like you can't help talk badly about that person. Because that person, maybe just makes the same mistakes over and over and over again or you're just frustrated with this person or you try to help them, and I don't know. There's some things where you just can't like, not talk badly about them. But I try to pick and choose what I say more. It's not as like, before it was very petty and very immature. And there's no like... you're just talking bad just to talk bad about someone. So, as I'm getting older, I'm kind of picking and choosing what I say. And I also try to be nicer to people like I... How do I explain this? Like, I can be very blunt, and I don't know that I am. I just am, I guess. And I realize that I need to learn to not be so blunt. Because it does hurt people's feelings. So, I've learned to choose and pick my words wisely. And, you know, being more empathetic. Like I'm starting to understand the things I say that may hurt someone, and I don't know. Because a lot of humor too in my family that I've noticed is that, teasing people or making fun of people in front of their face. It's like a lot of the jokes that we make or a lot of the jokes in a family that makes are those kinds of jokes. And sometimes yeah, they're funny. And sometimes the person they're joking about laughs about it. But at the same time, you don't know whether they're just laughing to laugh because the crowd is laughing. Or if they actually think it is funny, you know what I mean? So, I tried to be careful with that too. And try not to use that kind of humor. And it does slip because that's just what I'm used to. And that's what I grew up around. But I do try to be careful with what I say. And I try not to hurt people's feelings, or you know, I try to keep people's feelings in mind when I say something. Obviously, I'm not perfect. And everything I do is a work in progress. But overall, I like who I am. And I like my personality. And I like the adult I'm becoming because I feel like when I was in my early 20s, I was kind of a toxic person. And I don't know if other people agree with that. I've never asked my friends or family. But for me, I think that some of the things I did, and some of the things I say when I was younger, can be a bit toxic. And so, as an adult and being more mature, I can see that now. So, I try to not be so toxic. But yeah. However, so yeah, I do like who I am now. I like my personality. And I like the adult I'm becoming. However, do I like how I look? No. Simply no. Like, straight up hell no. I don't. I don't like how I look. And I mean, I don't think I'm grotesque or anything. Like I don't think I am some horrid monster, or anything like that. Like, you know, I don't think I'm deformed in any way. But I just don't like how I look. I don't like my image. I don't like a lot of my features. And so, if you ask me, what flaws I have, I can probably give you pages and pages of things I can think of just going from the top of my head down. And honestly, I was going to write it all out. But then I was like, no, this isn't healthy. This doesn't make sense to do. I'm not gonna do this. Because I did start a list. And it just... just from my face alone, I didn't even make it to my face. Because I was like, okay, I don't like my here. I don't like my hair type; I don't like my hairline. I don't like the amount of hair I have. And it's just like, okay, that's just the hair alone. You know? So, I was like, yeah, I'm just gonna move on. So... But yeah.


24:08

Anyways, so no. I don't like I look. I struggle a lot with looking at pictures of myself. Which might be weird because I did say in a previous episode, that I do want to take more pictures with friends and family. But that's more just to preserve memories. Like I don't... doesn't mean I'm going to post it on social media. Like I mean, if you guys follow me on Instagram now, like the talkative introvert podcast Instagram, there's no pictures of me if you haven't noticed. There's pictures of the people who guest on my show, but there's no like actual picture of myself. And my personal Instagram, my profile picture isn't of me. It's of my brother's dog and my shoes, I think. It's one of the very first pictures I took when I made an Instagram account like years ago. It's probably been almost 10 years; I've never changed my profile picture on Instagram. And then Facebook, I do have a profile picture, which is fairly new. But I was really... I don't know, I don't use it. Or I don't use Facebook that much. I don't ever see it. But yeah, so I don't like looking at pictures of myself. So, I do want to work on that though. I want to work on looking at myself more so I'm more comfortable with my own image. Like, if I'm in a good mood, I avoid looking at mirrors, because I know, if I look at it, then they'll just make me sad which... blah. So, I don't look at mirrors. I mean, obviously, I look at mirrors if I'm at a restaurant, and I want to make sure there's nothing in my teeth, or I want to make sure my hair isn't all like, in an array. I don't know, disarray or whatever. But I don't spend a lot of time just looking at myself. Because I don't like that. It makes you feel very uncomfortable. And one of the things why I thought I had BDD, because it does mention how it like affects your choices and what you do and all that. And so, there have been times in the past where I'll decide to just stay home. I mean, of course, I'm an introvert so I like staying home. So, that's normal for me. But like, it doesn't mean I don't like going out. And there's been a few times where I just don't go out, because I just can't feel good in my skin at that moment. And I don't feel like leaving the house. And so, Brandon helps a lot with that though. Like there's this one time we were going to go out, and I just wasn't feeling good. And I didn't like how it looked. And I couldn't find anything to wear. Even though I literally wear the same clothes over and over again. And I just don't know, like that day specifically, I just... I don't know. I just couldn't feel good in my own skin. And Brandon helps a lot with that. And he's very understanding too. He will be like, "Well, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do." But then he helps encourage me. He'll say nice things, you know, like, "You look really good in this thing." Or "That looks really good." Or "I don't see what you see, I don't see the problem." He'll, you know, reassure me that I look fine, that I don't look like a hideous monster or anything like that. So, that really helps a lot. But it's still hard, you know, it's still hard. And this isn't like a new thing. Like this has been going on since childhood. And it's, you know, what definitely contributed to a lot of this self-image issues I have, definitely stems from childhood. I mean, what doesn't stem from childhood? So, you know, my family is a big factor in that. And not saying that my family like everyone's terrible or anything. It's just that I have very... like they're very beautiful.


28:15

Like, my cousins and my nieces... oh yeah, I forgot. So, my nieces are my age. They're, you know, in their 30s or older. I just want to explain that because I'm obviously not jealous of my little nieces. Cuz I mean, little kids are cute, no matter what. But my nieces I'm talking about are my age. So, my cousins and my nieces that are my age growing up. They're just very beautiful women. Or they were beautiful girls now they're beautiful women. And they're also very thin. And they're also very fit. And they can pretty much wear and eat whenever they want. And I was always a big girl. I don't know why; I wasn't blessed with the same metabolism as everybody else. It really sucks because our family's big on eating. They love to eat. And I mean, I love to eat. I love food. But I just didn't have the same metabolism as everybody else. And it wasn't like I wasn't super active. I mean, yeah, because I did take swimming classes. My mom enrolled us in swimming classes, in tennis. And when the guy cousins came over, or my guy nephews came over, we would play soccer football, you know, all that stuff. And my brother lived the same lifestyle as I did, but he had a little chubby face, but then that was it. And he has pretty much been skinny his whole life until... like, even now he's still skinny. But yeah. So, my family was always... they're all beautiful, like amazing looking women and men. And I've just always been kind of the ugly duckling. And I don't know if they think the same thing, but that's just how I always felt. Especially being always bigger than everybody else. And I did get made fun of, you know? That's kind of... I guess it's kind of the normal thing that happens if you're a bigger person too. Or a bigger kid, you do get made fun of. Cuz kids are... as cute as they are, they're also very ruthless and mean and say awful things and those type of things, even though they may not be that way now, it still sticks with you, you know, you still remember that. Like my nephew. He still remembers this too. He remembers making this joke. So, I think I mentioned to him like a couple years ago. But so, my nickname at home is Mia. So, M-I-A. And this joke has... I will always remember this joke. Like, I don't know if I'll ever forget, unless I have like Dementia or something. But he made this joke. And he asked me, "How do you spell Mia?" And then he said, you spell it by F-A-T. And I will never forget that. Not saying like, we're not on good terms anymore. Like we are in very good terms. And we're very close. And he will never say anything about my body. He has never mentioned anything about my body or said anything negative. It's just, you know, kids being kids, and saying those awful things. But like, I just... I will never forget that you know? Cuz that was just very, very hurtful. And I would get those type of comments not just from family, but just from, like kids at school or just, you know, anywhere. And so, that's a big contribution to my self-image issues, you know? And also, just like, my parents. So, my mom. First of all, my mom is amazing. I love my mom. She has, you know, she came here from the Philippines, and she left everything she knew to, you know, have a family here and to raise me and my brother and I love her and she's an angel. And I would be a mess the day that she dies. And I sometimes lowkey wish I die before her. So, I love my mom. Love, love, love her. But with that said, she has definitely made comments, but she genuinely cares about my health. Because the thing with my family is that, yes, they're beautiful. But they also have a terrible medical history. There's diabetes, there's heart problems, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, gout, there's lung problems. But I'm pretty sure that's just from smoking. But all kinds of medical issues in our family.


33:05

So, my mom genuinely cares about my health. So, when she mentions my size or whatever, it's because she's scared that I might get sick and end up being like, relying on medication the rest of my life. However, as a kid, those comments. I don't understand that aspect. You know, I don't understand the whole... like her caring about my health. All I understand is the comments that she made. And how it made me feel, you know what I mean? So, I was big, but my brother wasn't, right? So, I mentioned that earlier. And the comments were always made to me. Like to tell me to eat more veggies and eat more fruits. But then they wouldn't say that to my brother. Because he's already skinny. Because that's kind of like the thing, right? Like, if you're overweight, you're unhealthy. And if you're skinny, you're healthy, even though that may not be true. That's just like what people think in their mind. And so sometimes, if I'm eating a lot at a party or an event or something, she would tell me I shouldn't eat that. And she'll say, like, "Anak. That's enough." When my brother is literally sitting right next to me. And he's eating. He's either eating the same amount or even more. Because my brother can eat a lot. Like he can eat more than I can eat. But he's skinny and he has a good metabolism. But as a kid, like I said, I didn't get that. I didn't understand why I couldn't do something, but he could. And so, as a kid I thought, well, that's unfair. How come Kuya can eat more? So, that's why I didn't understand that as a kid. I understand it now why my mom says those things. And I get it now. She just cares about my well-being and all that. But there's like... like I said like with my nephew with the joke that he made, those things just stay with you up until adulthood. So, you don't forget about those things, you know. And there's this one... So, I want to share this one story. So, when I was younger, I don't remember how old I was at the time. But I've just always been big since I was little. I don't even know, the only time I was ever skinny was like a portion of high school and college. And that was it. But there's this one time when I was little, my aunt, and my aunt is honestly the best. I love her. And I miss her. I think I'm going to go visit her. But she wanted me to come sit with her and sit on her lap. And I was like, hey, you know, I love my aunt. Of course, and I'm a little kid, so I want to go see my aunt's lap. And so, I went and sat on her lap. And then my mom came out. And she freaked out. And she's like, "Don't sit on your aunt's lap, you're gonna hurt her." you know. And, like my mom's a very caring person. And she's always very conscious about people's feelings. And she doesn't want anyone to get hurt. Like she is very like a caring person. So, in her mind, she's genuinely thinking of my aunt's lap. Like, Oh, my God, my daughter's crushing her lap. And but to me as a little kid, I'm just thinking like, well, that made me feel like I'm just this humongous monster, you know? Even though that's not the intent of my mom. And my aunt, being my aunt, she's amazing. And she, like... this probably doesn't like... it is probably not significant to her. And I don't even know if she'll even remember this. But this meant the world to me. But she basically advocated for me. And she was like, "No, it doesn't even hurt. I can't even feel you." That's what she said. I don't know why but I remember exactly that she said that "I can't even feel you on my lap". And I just always remember that because it made me feel really good. And my mom's like, "Okay. Well, if you're fine, then that's fine." And she just made me feel like I wasn't as big as I thought I was when she did. Because in reality, I was a big kid. So, I probably did crush her. But because she is just such a nice person. Like, she would never say that to me. And I will always remember that from her.


34:37

But again, like I said, my mom, like I love my mom, I don't resent her or anything or in any way. Because, again, she's just cared for my well-being. Because she doesn't want me to be unhealthy. Like during this whole COVID thing, it's freaking her out. She doesn't want us to do literally anything. She just wants us to bunker down and not go outside until it's all over. She really does. That's how much she cares about it. Or you know, cares about our well-being. Because whether it's real or not, she doesn't want to take the risk, you know? And so, I get that. And she also knew that people made fun of me. And so, even though she made those comments, she's still an advocate for me. Like this one time, we went to the Philippines. And I forgot, I think it was seven or eight. I don't remember. It was a long time ago. But we went to the Philippines. And I don't know why, but some reason our family there didn't realize that my brother and I understood Tagalog. And someone made a comment about my weight. And my mom reacted real quick. She like turned and looked at the... I think, is my aunt and she turned to look to her real quick and she's like, "She can understand, you know?" And so, I always appreciate that. Like, my mom doesn't like. She's definitely a mama bear. She doesn't like when people, you know, talk ill about her children. And especially to our face. Because she's like, "That's not. You know, that's not okay. Don't talk to her like that." And I will always remember that, because I thought, I don't know, that just kind of made me laugh. Because she instantly reacted. And I will always remember that. And it's nice being an adult and understanding that now it just did suck as a kid. Not understanding my mom's intentions, but she means well. Um, so yeah, my upbringing didn't exactly help. But neither did my culture. So, I mentioned this before, but I am Filipino. I mean, yeah, I just talked about my story about being in the Philippines. So, I am Filipino. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong about Filipino culture. But there are some things I don't like about it. And the biggest thing I don't like about Filipino culture is this major emphasis on beauty. Like there's always beauty pageants. Like the fiestas and every event has some type of beauty pageant associated with it. The schools put a lot of focus on beauty. I'm friends with my family in the Philippines and even the schools will do beauty pageants, or they'll do like the talent shows. But then even the talent shows are very like over the top. It's not like here in America. Like people wear or kids wear these elaborate ornate costumes. And they do their makeup really well and their hair. And it's just like a large emphasis on beauty and looking good on a stage. And then another thing that I hate, and I'm sure this probably goes for other cultures as well. But Filipinos love Caucasian features for some reason. So, they like the pointy, slim nose, the little scope. Not scope. Little ski slope is what we call it. If they have the little ski slope nose, you know, it's like skin thinning and has the knee thing and has the little.... I don't know how to call it. Like the little button nose. My niece has it. It's really cute. But she would be cute even with a regular Filipino nose. Because she's half white. So, she got the white nose. Anyways. But Filipinos have... it's flat and it's wide. So, we call it the tomato nose. I don't know what other people call it. It's just what we call in our family. But we have the Filipino nose, but the desirable nose is the ski slope. And Filipinos also like light skin, and long legs. And they like tall people. Basically, just the opposite of them. People, you know, people want what they can't have. But it's so damaging to your self-image. Especially for young kids. Young, you know, girls and boys. Because they're born a certain way but then that's not what's favorable. Like in the Philippines, I don't think it's just the Philippines. I think it's just a lot of cultures who have dark skin. But there's whitening soap. Like I remember when I was little, my mom used to buy the stuff it's called... What's it called? Eskonol? Eskinol? Yeah. You could get it pretty much at any oriental market. And I haven't been inside an oriental market in a while since the pandemic, but I'm pretty sure you could still buy it now. And you can just like... you can just order it.


38:17

But yeah. Whitening soap is a big thing. And I remember my mom used to use it. And every night she used to rub that stuff. It's like this liquid. I don't know, it kind of just looks like water because it's clear. And you just put on a cotton ball and you wipe your face with it. And then nowadays, there's a skin whitening injection. So, I was supposed to go to the Philippines a couple years ago with my mom and my brother. But then my dad got sick so we couldn't go. But at the time, my mom was talking to my cousins and they're like, yeah, we're gonna bring her to... or me. They're gonna bring me to wherever they get the skin whitening injections. And my mom, like I said, being the health freak that she is. She was like, "No, don't. Don't you dare inject her with that poison." I mean, that's not exactly what she said. But that's basically what she said. But they wanted to bring me to get my skin white. Because I am. I mean, I'm not dark right now because I've just been staying home since the pandemic. Not gonna lie. So, I'm not as dark as I usually am. But I am on the darker side. Oh, no, I'm not. Okay, as compared to my family. I'm on the darker side. But as Filipinos as a whole, I'm not super, super dark. And I feel like I'm just average Filipino dark skinned. But compared to my family because we do have a lot of Spanish blood too. So, my brother has lighter skin than me and I think my dad was a little lighter skinned. And some people in my family are a little lighter. But I am pretty dark compared to them. Anyways, so they wanted to go and get these skin whitening injections. And that's the weirdest thing. And is that safe? Like to lighten your skin? Like I don't even... I can't even think of... I can't even fathom. Like... Sorry, I'm just like looking at my skin. I'm like, how would that even work? Do they just inject you and then your skin just brightens the next day? That's so weird. But I feel like you would look sickly. But anyways, that's all the rage over there right now, I guess. And then also with Filipino culture. So, there's TFC The Filipino Channel. And there's like all these other, you know, Filipino networks. And if you are Filipino and you've seen that or your parents watch it, I grew up with it, so I've been watching it since I was little. And some family members still watch it. But if you look at all the famous people, none of them look like an average Filipino person. Which I mean you can say that about American television as well. But you know, that's why media is just so toxic in general. Because no one looks like that, you know. But in the Philippines specifically, none of them... I don't want to say none of them. A lot of them don't look like your average Filipino. A lot of them are light skinned. A lot of them have nose jobs. A lot of them are tall. Or you know, or the illusion of being tall. Because that's what they favor. The long legs and being tall and all that. And specifically, Miss Philippines. I can't stand Miss Philippines. And I don't know if that's just me. But Miss Philippines? She's always a hybrid. She is never just full-fledged Filipino. The last one I can remember, because it's been a few years since I've seen it. But the last one I can remember she wasn't even full Philippian. She was full... she was half Filipino, half Australian, I think. And then this new one, I had to do a Google search. But this new one, whatever the last one was 2019, I guess. She's half Filipino, half Middle Eastern, I think. Either way, she's just not... they're never full Filipino is what I'm trying to get up. And so, when that happens, when you're not full Filipino, you know, you get these other traits, right? So, my niece, for example, she's not full Filipino. So, she's got the cute little ski slope nose and she's light skinned.


44:31

So those are like the very... those are the more favorable, you know, traits, you know. So, I think that's why Miss Philippines always ends up being some type of hybrid. Not a full-blooded Filipino. Because you can still run to be Miss Philippines, but because they're only partial, they get all the quote unquote, "Good traits", you know. And so, that always irks me. Because I don't know. I'm just thinking about all the little Filipino girls and thinking, they must not think they're good enough because they're not light skinned, they have a flat wide nose and they're not tall and have long, slender legs and all that stuff. But that's who always wins, right? The person that always wins. The person that always makes it onto TV, the person that gets rich and famous or all these other Filipinos who don't even look like your average Filipino. And a lot of times they're mixed with a different race. And they end up having those quote unquote "Good traits", you know, the non-Filipino traits, if you will. And then so, I was always exposed to that. Because you know, that's just a little piece of home for my parents watching the Filipino channel and all that stuff. So, I was definitely exposed to that. And exposed to American media. Where everyone who's famous has to not only be very talented, but a lot of times they have to also be very beautiful a.k.a. the Disney Channel. And I love the Disney Channel. You know, don't take me wrong. I love Disney. I have Disney+. I recently watched 'That's So Raven'. And if you guys love That's So Raven, you should watch her 'Raven's Home'. It's still the same humor. Hilarious. Love that show. But anyways, um, but yeah, the Disney Channel. I mean, look at... if you're a 90s baby like me, you know, there's 'Hannah Montana', 'Lizzie McGuire’, ‘Wizards of Waverly Place'. All those girls, they were all skinny. The only one that wasn't skinny, super skinny was Raven, which is one of my top favorite Disney Channel shows, if you haven't guessed already. But everybody else was super skinny, super slim, not an ounce of fat on their body. Or it seemed like that at least. And so, that's why media is just so toxic. Because no one really is that. But that's all you see on TV. That's why I actually really applaud all the actresses on 'Orange is the New Black'. Because they're just raw, you know, no makeup, just the present outfits or whatever. And it's just raw, not your glamorous Hollywood, what you're used to seeing and being that vulnerable. And being that, just raw like... No, nothing. Definitely applaud those women because I don't think I would... I could do that. I mean I don't even post selfies now. Imagine being on set every single day. And some of them, it's not just raw, but they make them look like drug addicts and whatever. So, it's not just, not only are they not wearing makeup, they're also wearing makeup that makes them look like, you know, have the rotten teeth and all that. All that good stuff. You know, I definitely applaud them because I could never do that. That is too vulnerable for me. No thanks. That's why I like podcasts. Because apart the way a person looks doesn't matter. And it's just about the content. And honestly, I'll probably never record myself for YouTube. Because you know, there's some podcasters who do that. They also record them doing the podcast, and then uploading it to YouTube. So, I upload to YouTube, but it's just like a stagnant or static video. There's no... you don't see me or anything like that. It's just like, I think it's just like the image of my album art. So, those are just what are the things that kind of contributed to my self-image. So, I wanted to just talk a little bit about that, but then that ended up being much longer than I thought. There's just so much, you know, so much contributing to your self-image. And I know, it's not just my culture, but the constant media that we're exposed to every single day. Especially now.


51:24

I feel like kids now are probably exposed to even more because they have social media, you know, there's Instagram, there's Facebook, there's TikTok, there's Twitter, there's YouTube, there's on top of that with TV. And there's just like an overload of media and just constantly perfect, beautiful looking people. So, maybe that's why there's a rise in men also suffering from BDD. Because it's just the constant exposure of all these people, you know. And it's just so toxic. But anyways, so what I've done so far, that I think has helped me a lot, is cleaning my social media. I did like a whole cleansing if you will. So, I unfollowed a bunch of celebrities. So, I used to follow a lot of celebrities, just because I don't know, I really liked their music or whatever. And I wanted to know if they got a new album out, or what have you. But honestly, you could just follow them on Spotify, and they'll tell you anyways. So, I unfollowed celebrities, because I didn't want to be exposed to that every single day. It's just too hard to look at. And then I unfollowed people who I just don't talk to anymore. If I don't talk to you, I'm not friends with you, if we were never friends to begin with, then I definitely unfollowed you. Because I did like, I think I started my Instagram and Facebook page senior year of high school. So, for some reason, I had friends who, we were friends just because maybe we had a class together. But we weren't actually 'friends' friends. And so, I just deleted all those people. So, I just did a whole entire cleanse of social media. And I just kept it to who I actually have a relationship with and talk to. And then there are some high school people who I don't really talk to anymore, keep in touch with. But I really genuinely like them as a person. And some of them you know, they have funny posts. So, I enjoy their content. And then for my podcast one. My podcast one, I follow a lot of podcasts tips and tricks kinds of pages. And I do follow other podcasters. However, I just follow the podcasts page itself. I don't follow their personal pages. Because sometimes they have the podcast itself. And then the host will have their personal pages. So, I did used to follow that, but I actually did a cleanse recently and just unfollowed those. Because there is this one chick, who... I'm not saying people shouldn't post selfies or whatever, but she did post a lot of risky kind of photos. And all power to her, you know. If that is your thing and you like doing that and it makes you feel good and gives you confidence, like, you know. By all means, do you. Do you boo. But for me, being exposed to that and seeing that and because she's so beautiful, whatever I just kind of unfollowed her. But I kept... I still followed her actual podcast channel or podcast page. Just not her personal one. It just helps not to be constantly exposed to famous people and these, for me, unachievable, you know, looks. And so, I try to refrain from that. And then I stopped going on the Explore page of Instagram. So, if you don't know what that is, if you don't have Instagram, there's the Explore page. And it's just random posts and stories from other people who you don't follow. But they're like... I think there's like an algorithm or something where it shows things you may be interested in or whatever. And I first... but for some reason, no matter who you are, what you're interested in, the Explore page still has a bunch of pictures of just beautiful, perfect looking men and women, you know. And so, I stopped doing that. Because then it was getting a little too toxic for me. Because then I start feeling bad about myself. And it's like... And then you also forget, sometimes that a lot of these photos are probably photoshopped. Or like, I don't know. They may not be the real thing. And so, there's like, but I just can't look at all that stuff. And it's really helped me not to go on the Explore page and not follow celebrities and whatnot.


56:10

And then another thing that's really been helpful is that people say this all the time that a lot of things that can help you with your mental health and physical health is just doing something active, right? And so, me and some family and friends are doing the Yoga challenge. There's a 30-day yoga challenge. I'll link that in the show notes in case you guys are interested. It's on YouTube, but it's a lot easier to follow on Amazon if you have Amazon Prime Video. And there's other ones. So, I'm doing the 30-day Yoga for weight loss, but then they... she has like other stuff. So, you know, go check her out. I'll put it in the show notes. But I did finish the 30-Day Challenge last month. And I'm doing it again for October. And I do it every morning. And it's like 30 minutes. And it makes me feel amazing. It makes me feel really good and energized to tackle the day. And it's great for beginners who has haven't done Yoga before. I did it. Like, I used to do yoga in the morning, but in high school. But then I stopped. Because life. So, I am like a beginner again and have to start it up again. So, it's nice that she starts you off slow. And it just makes me feel really good. And after doing the 30-day Challenge last month, I definitely can see a difference. And I definitely feel stronger and feel more flexible. And that really helps with my self-confidence and my self-image a little bit. So, that's been really helpful. So, if you guys want to try that out, I highly suggest it. And if you just don't like Yoga, I highly suggest just doing something active every day. Like also after Yoga, I walk my dog in the morning. Which is kind of the great thing about having a dog. Because then, you know, it kind of makes you feel active. Because you need to walk them or take them out. But that's been really good. So, Yoga, and then walk my dog. So, I'm active for like an hour in the morning. And then now that it's cooling down, hopefully it's gonna stay cooling down. I also want to try to walk my dog during lunch, my lunch period. That way I have activity in the middle of the day. And so, I'm not just active in the morning, but then I sit the rest of the day. Because I do work still. And it's in front of a desk. So, I do stare at a computer all day for eight hours. So, I want to take my hour lunch and incorporate some activity in there. But yeah. So, I did bring this up to my therapist. And I did talk to her about BDD. And how BDD may be something that I'm struggling with or I have, I mean. But the main focus is just my self-image, and my self-confidence and my self-esteem. And really trying to figure that out. And really, it's all that she mentioned to me that it's all about retraining your brain. Like there isn't some magical pill that you can just take. And all of a sudden you love yourself and love how you look. It's all about retraining your brain. And so, in therapy, we've been doing exercises. And they sound kind of dumb. It may sound very miniscule, but they actually really helped a lot. And so, I wanted to share that in case that's something maybe that can help you if you're suffering with the same thing or struggling with the same thing. And so, one of the very first exercises she had me do was to simply say 'Thank you' when someone compliments me. Because my instant response is usually like... umm... sometimes I joke around and I say like, "I know." You know, like sarcastically. But I don't actually mean it. But my instant reaction, a lot of times is just deflecting. And so, a good example is my friend, she told me that she liked my voice a lot. When she's listening to my podcast, it's very soothing. And then my response is like, "Really? I hate my voice. I don't like what it sounds like. But thanks." And that's just something where I'm trying to work on. So, my therapist suggested instead of deflecting every single time, just accept the compliment as factual and as something that someone believes, you know. That my friend truly does believe I have a good voice, and simply just say, "Thank you." And I think... umm now that I'm thinking about it, saying 'Thank you' is just the more respectful response anyways. Because when you deflect, I feel like that seems a little disrespectful.


1:00:55

So, that's a good thing I'm practicing that anyways, regardless. Umm, and then we're also working on or I'm working on rephrasing the way I say things to be more positive. I'm trying to think of an example. So, an example that we used was, so I said something along the lines of, "I could have made other choices, or I could have made better choices." I think it's what I said. And she said, "Try thinking of rephrasing that phrase." And I couldn't. I didn't understand what she meant by that. Because it was like, "No. I could have done better. Like, what do you want me to say?" I do get a little frustrated sometimes. But she was saying instead of saying, "I could have done better." or "I could have made better choices", you can just say, "Last night, I reflected on the fact that I could have made better choices." So, you know, you're reflecting back instead of just being down on yourself and saying, "I should have done better." If that... I don't know if that makes sense. But if that makes sense, then awesome. Because that didn't make sense to me when I was... when she asked me to do. Another thing is keeping a journal. So, I haven't done this yet. I have a journal. And I used to journal a lot. It's just, I don't know. I just get lazy, I guess. But I guess journaling is supposed to be really helpful. And it also helps track your progress. So, if you write down how you feel now, and then you continue to do that daily, weekly, however you want to do it. And then you like... later down the road, you can reflect back on how you felt. And you could see the progress you've made. Like, maybe a month ago, you felt like extremely hideous, and you don't want to go out too. Now you go out with your friends. And you don't think that way anymore, you know, tracking your progress. And so, I haven't done that. I should do that. I have my journal out and I have the pen out but then I never actually do it. So, I think I should try. I should try. Another one is... so, another thing that people with BDD, what therapists have them do is exposure therapy. And so, one of the exercises she has for me is to stare at myself in the mirror until you pass the discomfort. And I actually get this because it does make sense. Because with my voice... So, when I started this podcast, it was really hard for me to edit my episode. Because I just didn't like my voice like it. It was just... it sounded very horrible. But because like, we're what? This is Episode 22 and I've had to listen to it 22 times. Plus, all the times I've had to like... I mean, like a Soundbite or what have you. Now I'm just kind of numb to my voice. I'm indifferent to it. I don't hate it, or I don't like it. Like it's just normal to me. And so, I get that exposure therapy does work. However, I have not done it. And she asked me to do this like two weeks ago. Or three weeks ago? It's been a while. And I haven't done it yet. Because like I said earlier, I don't like looking in the mirror and I don't like looking at myself in the mirror. So, that's a really tough one to do. But I will do it eventually. And then one of the last things is, recently, was this book. So, she gave me this recommendation to read a book. It's called 'Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are' by Hillary L. McBride. So, I will link that in the in the show notes as well. But that's a really good book. I'm only halfway and then I had my sister-in-law borrow it. Because I liked it so much that I thought maybe she would like it too. Especially because she has a little girl and a little boy. And I thought like, this is a... It's a good book for everybody. But it's a good book, especially for parents. And so, I wanted to have her read it. And then I'll continue to do what she's done. But it's a really good book. And I will definitely send that to you guys. Or share that with you guys in the show notes. It's really... I like it. It talks about how your mom's self-image affects you as a kid. So, the way she felt about herself, and how she talks about her own body and talks about her own image can affect you as a child. And it made a lot of sense. Like, it makes a whole lot of sense. And it's just very eye opening. So, that one's a really good one. So, those are some of the exercises I'm working with through therapy. And they've been helping so far. I should have done a journal because I don't know what my progress is. But I think it's helping so far.


1:05:58

So, in summary, if you experienced the same thing, and you feel like you're maybe struggling with the same thing that I am, you know, please go check out The BDD Foundation website. There's a lot of resources in there. A lot of, you know, resources to help you figure that out and figure out how to get the help that you need. They do have some quizzes like I said earlier. And you know, another great thing you can do as well, kind of like what I mentioned earlier, like my employer because of the pandemic offered free sessions. So, who knows? Maybe your employer offers the same thing. So, I would definitely go check that out. Go check out, like HR, reach out to your HR person. And see if that's something your company offers. Or check your health insurance. Your health insurance would know that information as well. So, definitely go check that out. And then what else? Oh, don't forget to vote. I'll still link Ballotpedia if you want to see what's on your ballot. Talking about voting, though, I did something. I reached out to a YouTuber that I watch. I don't know why I did this. I don't do this. I never do this. I never reach out to people. Or like, I don't reach out to famous people is what I mean. Not like to don't reach out to people ever. Anyways. So, I do feel kind of bad for picking on her though. Because, but honestly, I just got fed up with the hate one day. And I couldn't help myself, I guess. And I guess I just chose her. And I think a lot of it has to do because maybe I was disappointed in her or just disappointed in general. And this is why I should only follow the main page and not people's personal pages, like I mentioned earlier. So, I didn't even follow my own advice at that time. It was a while ago. But I did unfollow her. And I only follow her YouTube channel. So, I unfollowed the personal pages. Anyways, um, she is like... her and her husband have a YouTube channel. I'm not gonna say which one. So, I do watch all their videos all the time. And I really like them. And I think they're very... they seem like very nice, genuine people. But obviously, we don't know anyone and who they truly are in real life. You know, I can say that by myself too. You guys don't know who I am. And who I am truly in real life. I do try to be very genuine on my podcast. But anyways, that's a... sorry, that's a different tangent. Back to this one. But anyways, yeah, so I do watch them online and I like their YouTube channel, blah, blah, blah. But because of like... umm, its voting season and election year, people just... I don't know. There's just too much hate in the world. And so, in her story, she wrote, "If you're a Trump supporter, unfollow me now." And first of all, I'm not saying I'm a Trump supporter, okay, this would appease me, regardless of who she said. If she said Biden, it would appease to me just as equally. So, this isn't a political rant. I'm not saying this because I'm supporting... I'm not saying who I'm supporting. I'm just saying...like just, you know, just that little blurb just really rubbed me the wrong way. So, this isn't again, like I said, this isn't a political rant, you know. I will never tell you who or what you should vote for, ever. You know, who you vote for, or what you vote for, that's up to you and for you alone to decide, you should vote for what you believe in. And don't, you know, don't go listen to other people. Listen to your own voice and what? In your own beliefs and morals and whatever. So, this isn't a political rant. I just want to make that clear. I'm not saying who I'm voting for or who I support. I'm just, you know that's just the post that she posted. And I'm getting to why that peeved me. Anyways, so it rubbed me the wrong way. And the reason why it rubbed me the wrong way is because I took this and looked at it from the perspective of a devout, the subscriber or follower, whatever they're called.


1:10:24

Cuz, you know, even though I like their channel and I listen to them or watch them all the time, I'm not like a devout subscriber. I don't donate to them, I don't, you know, hit the thumbs up button and all that stuff. I'm not... like I don't spend money or anything, I just like to watch their videos. So, I'm not like a devout follower. And so, when I saw a post, I was looking it through the eyes of a devout follower. Because I'm thinking like, this person who... umm, I'm thinking about a person who may have sent them packages and sent them letters, and then gifts. Maybe they are a Patreon member, you know, maybe one of their biggest contributors. Because, you know, a lot of these YouTubers, I won't say a lot of, you know, some of these YouTubers get to live the life they have. Because of their members, and because of the money they receive from their, you know, viewers. And so, a lot of the youtubers, they owe a lot to these people for giving them this opportunity to live this type of lifestyle. And, you know, so I'm looking at it from that perspective. From a person who contribute to their lifestyle. And someone who may have really loved them and looked up to them. And so, with having a post like that, regardless of who she said, she could have said, Trump, Biden or whoever. It doesn't matter. But just that post. What that means to me is that she basically completely dismissed that person and devalued that person as a worthy human being, as a worthy fan because of one aspect of that person, you know. She doesn't know anything about them, except for that one detail. Because of that one detail of you, she is specifically asking you to remove yourself from her friends list. And I don't know, I just didn't like that. And honestly, I'm a little intolerant right now, of just political posts in general. Because people get so nasty on social media. And it's from both sides, you know. It doesn't matter what party you are with. Either, you know, all sides of this political whatever, people are nasty. They're nasty to each other. And there's a lot of hate. And it happens four years, you know, every four years, it's like the same thing. People are just so awful and nasty. And it's worse and worse. Because, you know, of social media. Like, I didn't really have that in high school. I mean, it's always been around. People are mean to each other based on their political beliefs. But now, it's just like, it's public. And it's out there for everyone to see. And so, I ended up messaging her. Cuz I'm not going to read what I wrote but I basically told her that that seemed very unkind to say. And she didn't respond. But I didn't really care much for her response. And I just didn't further the conversation. Because I realized, after she responded, why do I even care about this person? I don't know this person. We have no personal ties. And I don't know. And people can do whatever they want. So, I left it on a good note.


1:13:51

And I'm just gonna leave it at that. I'm not going to mention who it is and what we said. But I just couldn't help myself. I had to say that because I'm just sick and tired of people being so mean to each other. Because for me, I can never say that to someone. I can never just disown someone so easily. Because that's only one aspect of you. That's only one little detail of you. You know, everyone has different beliefs. And the key word is belief. You know, these are your political beliefs. Shouldn't like... it's not a reason to unfriend a person. Like I can never stop being friends with someone because they chose a different path. You know because people are doing what's best for them. And I just don't understand why are people so quick to do this. Like, I just heard a story about mom and son who live with each other. They're no longer talking to each other because they're voting for two... they're voting for different people. And it's like, again, every four years, people's friendships and relationships end in a blink of an eye. That's why it's such a forbidden subject. You know, that's the two things you don't talk about. It's politics and religion. Because people get nasty. But for me, I just would never do this to a family member or a friend. Because I know, at least from my circle. I'm not gonna speak for everybody. But I know at least for the people I know that I care about and I love, they vote for who they think is best for them and their loved ones. And I think hopefully that's what most voters do is that they vote for who they think is best. Or they do what they think is best for them and their loved ones, right? Because whether whoever you support, it doesn't mean that you necessarily love every single aspect of the person, you know. So, whoever a voter decides to choose doesn't necessarily mean that they agree with every aspect of that person. But they're just going to vote for whoever they believe would be the best person suited to do the job. Because people are given choices every day. And they have to just work with what they're given. And so, that doesn't solely describe who a person is, you know. There are good and bad people on whatever side you're on. It doesn't matter. And I think to just judge someone or to simply devalue someone's life and devalue someone's opinion and devalue someone as an individual just because of who they vote for, that seems outrageous to me. And it doesn't make sense. Because it's just not who they are. It doesn't define... like, it doesn't encompass 100% of who they are as a person. Because a good person can still vote for someone you disagree with. It doesn't, you know, it just doesn't make them a bad person. Their beliefs are just different. And if everyone can just agree to disagree and accept that people are different, and believe in different things, I think life would be easier and much more harmonious for everyone. So, that's my little rant. I'm just tired of all of it. Like I just... just be kind to one another. And put your differences aside. And honestly, I can't wait for November to be over. Anyways, thanks so much for listening. And I hope you enjoyed the episode. Thanks for making it through that little rant of mine. I hope you found this episode to be informative and helpful. And I hope I brought some awareness to what BDD is. And I hope I was able to shed some light on it. And maybe if you are struggling with the same thing, I hope this episode empowers you to go seek help. And so, yeah.


1:17:58

So, thanks again for listening. If you enjoy the show and want to stay in the know, please follow me on social media. I am on Facebook and on Instagram. You can also check out my website at thetalkativeintrovertpodcast.com. All the information will be on there as well as in the show notes. Please help support the show by rating and reviewing it on Apple podcasts. If you leave a review, I'll make sure to feature in a future episode. Thanks so much and I'll talk to you guys in the next episode.

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