S1E20 - Therapy

Episode Description:

I mentioned in a previous episode that I didn’t only want to talk about introversion. I had other subjects I wanted to talk about, but I realized I couldn’t talk about certain subjects without first addressing therapy. There’s a lot of stigma around therapy, especially in certain cultures, so I was a little hesitant about doing an episode on this. However, I believe that therapy can be very beneficial to some people and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, so why should I hide it or be ashamed of it when I, myself, see nothing wrong with it? So, here’s my little therapy story.

Check out Talkspace: https://www.talkspace.com/

Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/


Disclaimer:

Some parts of the transcript may be edited for better readability, but the content remains the same. Mostly removed duplicate words, vocal filler words, and added/removed some words for clarification.


Transcript:

Hey, everyone! This is Meliza, and I'm the Talkative Introvert.


00:08

In this episode I'm going to talk about therapy. But before we get into that, more recently, well, I've always been asking people to please rate and review me on Apple podcasts. But more recently I mentioned that if you do leave me a review on Apple podcasts, I'll read them out loud on future episodes. I realized I never did that for the ones I already got. So, I wanted to just read one off, probably at the beginning of every episode. I don't have a lot. I only have five. So, it's really not that much. But I just want to read out loud and just really thank the person who left a review. And I want to thank all of you who left a review or rating. It really helps the show and helps to get more out there. Yes. So, this first one, it's by 'hsbsbsdb'. So, I think they're just initials. But it says "This podcast is simple and chill. I like that there is a podcast for everything and this is it. I opened my mind and listened, and I actually learned a lot about myself and about introverts in general. I feel it depends on the situation but definitely I can see myself being a social introvert, but never thought of myself as an introvert. Cheers to introverts! Take a listen, you won’t regret it! Heather from Bringthemio Podcast." So, thanks Heather. I really appreciate the review. I'll read the others in the future. So please, if you like the show, if you enjoy the podcast, please go rate and review on Apple Podcasts. I'd really appreciate it.


02:00

Alright, so back on topic. So, if you listen to my last solo episode, I think it's the one about my podcast voice. I should know this. I should know my episodes. But yeah, the one where I talk about finding my podcast voice, I mentioned that, not everything I want to talk about has to deal with being an introvert. As much as I love being an introvert and that's kind of how I got our started with this podcast, it's not all Io want to talk about. And there's a lot of other subjects I want to talk about, too, that I'm really excited to talk about. And can't wait to, like, do some research and, you know, write out my outline for it. Or my, I don't know, my show notes, whatever you want to call it.


02:15

And so, I realized, though, that some subjects that I want to talk about, I can't really talk about unless I first address therapy. And so yeah. So, I'm in therapy. I guess I should start off with that. But I didn't want to talk about this at first. Because there is a lot of stigma about being in therapy. You know, I didn't really want people to find out too. I didn't want family to find out about it. And there's, like... Not all cultures also accept therapy. When they think of therapy, they think, oh my God, this person's extremely depressed. This person is suicidal, this person has an array of mental health issues or like, it's always intense and extreme. People don't think of therapy... like they think of therapy is just something like the last resort. And it's really, really bad. Like, there's something wrong with your life. And that's not always the case. That may be the case, sure. But it doesn't mean I'm extremely depressed and suicide or anything like that. And I was kind of iffy about this coming out. Because then if family members do listen, I don't know if they do. Like, I don't know who listens or who doesn't listen. I can speculate based on like the location that, you know, is showed on Buzzsprout. But I don't know for sure. But I'm fine, you guys. I'm not clinically depressed or suicidal or anything like that. It was something I just wanted to try out, actually. So, um, but yeah.


04:10

So, I wasn't going to talk about it first, I wasn't gonna bring it up, especially like this, you know, being so public. But honestly, what changed my mind is that therapy should be normalized. Like it's fine if you're in therapy. No one cares. You know, you should be proud that you're taking care of yourself. And if you do feel like something is wrong, or you need someone to talk to you and you don't have that support system, then good for you for finding, you know, an outside source that can help you with that, you know, there's nothing wrong with it. There shouldn't be any stigma. People should be okay with it and okay for seeking help. Because you don't have to be alone. And try to figure out something on your own, especially if you don't understand it. You know, if you don't understand something that's happening with you, and it's really affecting you and your mental health, go seek help. It's fine, it's totally fine. There's nothing like, I'm not extremely unhappy with my life or anything, I do think I live a pretty good life and a pretty happy life. But there are some things that I just want to, you know, figure out, have a better understanding of. And I've mentioned this before, but I did get my degree in Soft science. I did Family and Consumer Science. And it has a lot to do, like, we did learn a lot about mental health. And, you know, how the brain develops and how the brain works and how... And therapy is a big part of people's development and, you know, growth and all that. And therapy can really help people. And I don't see why anyone should not do it, just because it's a stigma, or maybe your family or your culture doesn't recognize it, or, you know, they deem it as something like as a last resort, or something like that, I don't know. But, you know, not everyone also has a support system. Not everyone has a confidant. Not everyone has someone, they can really just fully express themselves. And not everyone feels comfortable talking to their friends and family about certain issues, you know. And that's fine. You know, that's what the therapist is there for is someone to talk to.


06:32

And a lot of times too when you do talk about your problems with someone like... So, you do have a really good support system, you do have a confidant or a best friend, or someone that you do talk to a lot, why don't say... well, kind of a lot of times, people tend to listen to respond, and not listen to understand, if that makes sense. So, people sometimes want to just fix something for you. Or tell you what you need to do or tell you what you should do, or how you should do something. When sometimes you just want to talk about your feelings and just want to talk, like express yourself. And you don't necessarily need the solution or anything. You just want someone to listen and to understand. And to kind of, you know, just be there for you. Not trying to fix your problems all the time. And so, a therapist does that. They don't, you know, tell you what you should or shouldn't do. At least like, good therapist shouldn't tell you what you should or shouldn't do. They kind of guide you in a way to help you understand your own feelings and your own thoughts and why you feel this way and why you think this way. Because really, at the end of the day, it's up to you. It's your choices, your... you know, you decide what you want to do with your life. And it's also kind of nice to talk to a complete stranger. Because they stay unbiased. You know, like, the focus is on you. They're not concerned about the other people in your family or friends or in your group. It's, you know, it's about you. It's about your issues and your problems and your feelings. And, you know, it's nice that you can just talk freely about your emotions and what you're feeling. Because, you know, another thing like, like I said, people like to listen to respond and not listen to understand. And like, another problem with talking to people about your problems is that sometimes they make it about them. You know, they make it about like, well, like if someone had the similar situation as your similar problem, they like to talk about themselves and how they overcame the same problem. And you know, that's great and dainty for you. But everyone is different. Not everyone is the same. So, not everyone's going to deal with the same problem the same way. So, it's nice when it's you and the therapist. It's like one-on-one. It's about you and your problems. And you know that the focus is on you. And you know they're there to help you. And it's not like a conversation with a friend or family member. And I'm not saying that all my friends and family members do this. But that's the tendency. And that's normal. I do that too sometimes. Like I don't always listen to understand. And I'm really trying to do that too. Because some people just want to talk to you. And not everyone needs a solution to their problem. They just want to tell you the problem.


09:44

And another reason why I change my mind about talking about this too is because if I'm endorsing it if I'm like... because I do recommend it to other people and I tell people it's great. Like, even though people don't know why I'm in therapy, I still endorse it to them like, "Oh, you know, you should think about, you know, going to therapy." And so like, why should I endorse it, but then at the same time, be ashamed of it and hide it? You know what I mean? It's very hypocritical, I guess. And hopefully this episode, even though I have a very small group of listeners, hopefully, I can help make you feel good about it. Like, if you're thinking about it, but you're unsure, you should just do it. Just try it. Especially if you have the means to do it. That's kind of another thing is that not everyone has the means to do it. But if you do, you should take full advantage of it. Especially if you feel like you're going through something, and talking to someone, like a friend or family member just isn't cutting it, and you just really need that professional help, then you should totally take advantage of it. Right now, we're in the middle of a pandemic, and social unrest, and whatever else there is in 2020. And a lot of employers are actually offering it. And they're offering free sessions and free resources to get you started. So, you know, go check with your employer and see if that's an option for you. So, that's kind of how I got started, actually. I started this year at the start of the lockdown.


11:25

So, here in California, we started locked down in March. So, I think like a month after that, maybe? Or two months. I can't remember. But anyways, my work they sent out, they always have like, have a health newsletter kind of thing that they send out every month. And I think it's the month after the pandemic and the lockdown. They sent this newsletter that stated that we can actually get free sessions. I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting. And I've always thought about doing therapy. I just never... it's just in the past, it was just too expensive, and work didn't offer it before. Or at least I wasn't really aware of it before. And I didn't really look into it. But because with this new job, and the fact that they're offering it because of COVID and all that, and it was free. So, I figured what's the harm of starting it now? Because it's free. It doesn't impact me financially. And it may be beneficial in the long run. So, it's like, you know, why not? And it kind of all started to because I went down this rabbit hole after I watched this Demi Lovato that documentary she did. But I won't really get into that. Because that's like, a whole other episode I want to do. And that's like a longer conversation. So, I won't get into why I started or like why I'm in it now. Unlike what I'm doing in therapy now. But um, yeah, so my work, they offered free sessions. And so, I was like, you know what, let's, let's try it out. What's the harm? You know what? If I didn't like it, I'll just quit.


13:17

So, my work offered free sessions with Talkspace. So, if you don't know what Talkspace is, it's all virtual. So, because we're in lockdown, they didn't offer free in person therapy. Or I think they... I don't...No, I can't remember. They might have offered in person therapy. But because we were locked down, I figured Talkspace is probably the best way to go. Because I wasn't about to go into the clinic or the... I don't know what's it called, the Therapist's office, whatever it's called. So, Talkspace seemed great. You know, it was a good step or it's a good trial into therapy, if you will. So, I'll talk about the pros and cons in Talkspace. But basically, it's all virtual. It's like texting, so you can like download the app, or you can have it on your computer. And you're just like, IM’ing each other back and forth. So, it's not like you're sitting down on a couch and someone's like asking, "How do you feel about that?" You know, it's not person-in-person. You can do video sessions, but I believe those cost money. Like I think I have one free video session. But I'm not like a big FaceTime person anyways. I don't know if I'm gonna use it. Maybe if I... I don't know if I want to just have a conversation rather than texting. But as you guys know, I'm an introvert. So, introverts typically like texting rather than calling. So, that's like one of the pros, right? So, pros of Talkspace is that... it is texting. So, that's kind of great. I like that it's on my own terms, I can respond when I want to, whenever I want to. It's not like a scheduled... like, if you do the in person one, it's a scheduled session, right? And you only have maybe an hour, half an hour, whatever it is. You only have a set time to talk. And then that's it. And then you're done. And then you have to wait until the next session. And who knows, it's different for everybody. But Talkspace allows you to talk to your therapist on a daily basis, like 24X7. It doesn't guarantee though, that they'll respond at like one in the morning or anything like that. But you can at least respond anytime you want. And then they'll respond back during their work hours. So, that's kind of nice. I like that it you don't have to go in anywhere. There's not the set schedule. So, I don't have to work around my works. Or like Talkspace, I can work around my work schedule.


16:03

Whereas going into the office, I'm pretty sure it's usually around... I mean, I don't know. I haven't done an in-person therapy session. So, I don't know how it works, but I'm assuming they're regular office hours, right? Maybe they're a little later. But that is like the great thing about Talkspace. It's just whenever you want to. And you don't have to do the FaceTime thing. And then you get partnered with a therapist that is specialized in the specific thing, subject that you want to talk about. And so, you can pick your therapist, and then if you don't like your therapist, you can switch out your therapist. And it's available no matter where you are too. Like I said, you can download the app. So again, the in-person, you have to drive to their office or what have you. But with the Talkspace app, you can pretty much do it from wherever. It could be home; you could be out and about. And if you think of something, you can just, you know, text them. So, that's kind of the great thing about it. And that's kind of why I like it. I mean, it really helps me like... It helps me to be in therapy when I feel like it's right to be in therapy. Does that make sense? Like it's on my time, you know? It's like, when I'm feeling whatever I'm feeling, I can talk about it at that moment. Does that make sense? I don't know why I'm asking because I know you guys can't respond. But yeah, so those are the pros I like it. And since it's free for me, I don't know how much it cost. But I did hear, or I did read that Talkspace is actually a lot cheaper. Way cheaper than actually going into the office or into the clinic, whatever it's called. I'm going to call it the office. So, I guess it's more eco-friendly. Or economically friendly. And so, it might be a good choice for you if it's something within your means. And you can't like actually spend money on seeing a therapist in person. But the cons, that's texting. So, there's times where, like, sometimes I wish there was an instant response, like a back and forth. Kind of like a conversation. And that is something you could do with the video chat. However, like I mentioned earlier, the video chat isn't covered for me at least. I only have one free session. So, I feel like I need to save it, you know, for an emergency or like a... I don't know. But um, it does cost more money to do video sessions. And again, that's one of those things just like an in person one. You have to schedule it. And you only have that session. Whether it's a 30 minute, an hour, two hours, whatever it is, you have a limit on what you can talk about or how much you can talk about. Sorry. So, it is kind of frustrating sometimes. But it is texting because it's not super responsive, you know? My therapist has other people, and I'm sure she probably does in-person ones as well. I mean, I don't know, during this time if she's doing in person ones. But she can't be on her phone or on her computer the entire time and just texting me back and forth, you know. And so, it's not this ongoing... or it's not like this, you know, person to person conversation that you would have if you went into the office. I still like the texting aspect but. So, texting can be a pro and a con. It just really depends on how fast you want a response back.


19:59

Then another con is also one of the pros is the fact that you can just respond whenever you want. So, with that you can also not respond whenever you want. So, sometimes I get kind of lazy. Because sometimes she does ask hard questions. And then I just feel lazy. Or not lazy, but like I know I should answer them, because it'll help me in the long run to really understand why I feel or think a certain way. But then sometimes I just don't want to. Like, I don't want to respond to it. But I do. I still do. And she'll check up on me if I don't respond, after a couple days or something. So, you're not forced to talk. So, in a live session, you're not really forced to, but you're, you know, you're obligated to. Like don't waste your money if you're not gonna respond back, right? So, I feel like if you're in an in-person session, you have that obligation to answer it, and answer the question right there and then. But that's also kind of the nice thing about the texting is that you can sit on the question. So, in a person-to-person session, you know, again, you have the obligation to respond right there. And then, because it's a timed session, you don't really have a lot of time to think on it. So, for those hard questions that she gives me, I can read it, sit on it, and you know, give myself a day to process it. And then I can respond with an appropriate, well, I don't say appropriate, but with a well thought out response. And not just like on the spot kind of response. And so, I kind of like that about it. But it does make me kind of lazy and not want to respond sometimes, or not think about it. But yeah. So those are kind of like the pros and cons in Talkspace. It just really depends on you. And what you like, and what you prefer. I feel like Talkspace is also for introverts because you don't have to be in person. And it is texting, and it is on your time. So, if you're socially exhausted for the day, but you have a therapy session scheduled, you may not have the energy to talk to your therapist. Whereas with Talkspace, you know, you decide when to respond or when to talk to your therapist. So that's what I like about it. And then, so, I'll link Talkspace, the website for Talkspace in the description. So actually, apparently, for a podcast, it's not the description. It's the show notes. But I don't know. I think I've just used a description because that's what YouTubers say. But in the show notes, I will link Talkspace. And then my work actually transitioned over. I mean, I still have my free sessions in Talkspace because that's what I started with. But people who are starting now, I guess, are doing better help. Which I think is the same thing. It's the same concept. It's virtual texting, and facetime. So, it's not like an actual person-in-person session. So, I will link that as well.


23:20

I don't know anything about BetterHelp since I started with Talkspace. But I'm pretty sure it's basically the same thing. It's just virtual therapy. And so, go check those out. It'll be in the show notes. And hopefully that can help you guys out learn a little bit about therapy and how it works. And how these two websites work, too. But yeah, so that's my little story in therapy. I didn't go over really why I'm doing therapy or why I started. But that's because I want to do a separate episode on that. I feel like that's kind of a fairly long conversation as well. And I'm pretty excited to talk about that. Because I feel like that one's a good... That episode will really resonate not only with introverts, but also with women. I mean, men deal with it, too. But I think a big portion of it is women. So, I won't get into that right now. But that will be in a future episode coming up. So. stay tuned for that. But yeah, thanks for listening to my little therapy story. I know it's not a whole lot. I just want to kind of touch it or briefly touch on it just so that I can get the ball running on these other subjects I want to talk about. And honestly, it feels good to have it out there. And it feels empowering. And it makes me excited to be able to talk about those other topics now. Because therapy isn't something you should be ashamed about. It isn't something like anyone should be... like, you know, I mean, you could keep it a secret. That's all that's your prerogatory, obviously. But or your prerogative. Your prerogatory? Your prerogative. I don't want you to feel like you should express it to the world and scream it out in the top of your lungs unless that's something you want to do. But I also feel like if somehow someone finds out, you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Because it's okay. Especially right now. There's so much going on in the world. It's hard to not be in therapy. I feel like there's just so much going on this year. But yeah, so it feels good to have it out there. And I hope that you feel empowered to, you know, to do so also. And ask for that help if you really needed it. So that is my therapy story. And if you listen to my previous episode, I am going to put in a little voting PSA in there. Because it's election year. It's voting season. It's, you know, time to pick our new President or current President, whatever, whoever you're voting for. I will include links in the show notes. I included Ballotpedia. Ballotpedia is pretty awesome because they strive to be unbiased. That's their biggest thing is that they try to just provide you with facts, which is what I like. Because media sucks, and you shouldn't believe anything that media talks about, because they have their own agenda. I know, I probably sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I hate media. Like, I really do. Because there's proof of media spinning the story and having it cater to their agenda. It's known. It's a known fact that they do that, you know? Media just... they twist words, and they twist stories. And I just don't... I don't believe in media. And I try not to watch the news very often. Because it is very fearmongering. And they try to pick at your heartstrings. And I don't know. I don't trust it. So, I like Ballotpedia a lot. Because they do strive to just give you the facts. And I have been reading a lot of their articles. And I am a part of their newsletter, their email newsletter. And so, they do a pretty good job of just providing facts. And so far, I haven't really seen a whole lot of biased articles. There may be there because you know, people are just people. They have their thoughts and feelings. But try as much as possible to look out for info that's unbiased. So that you can make the decision for yourself, you know.


27:52

So, don't let media sway your feelings or sway your vote or sway how you should or shouldn't vote. Just, you know, understand your own morals and your own ethics, and determine whether you believe in the certain President that you want to pick. And believe in the certain props there are in your area. Oh, that's another great thing about Ballotpedia is that you can put in your address, and they'll tell you exactly what's going to be in your ballot. So, in case people are new to voting, you don't just vote for the president this year. There's also a lot of local stuff. So, read up on those propositions. Check out Ballotpedia to get like, you know, what props are going to be in your ballot. And then also any other local elected officials. So, that's really important. And they try to give you the facts on that too. And they'll give you the whole thing, the actual document on the proposition. And they try to simplify it for you. Because it is really difficult. People like to create very confusing props. Which I get why they do that, because they want it to sound good, you know? Which is another thing I hate. Like, just simplify the thing. Why do you have to make it? Don't lie, just tell me what you want in the prop, you know? There's like a... there's a score, actually. There's a readability score on some of these pros. And it's like, why? So ridiculous. Just make it simple. Anyways, that's my little rant on that. So, go check that out. And then I also linked, I think it's vote.org. So, you can check if you're registered. And if you're not registered, please go register... vote.gov. Sorry, not .org. vote.gov. And yeah, so you can check if you're registered and all that. And I think some states are still open for registration. So hopefully, it's not too late for you. Simply please go check that out. Even if it's too late for you to vote this year, we don't just vote every four years, you have your local elections. So, you can still register and then be a part of those local elections instead. So, that's my little voting PSA. I just wanted to put that in there because it is like voting season. And this one's a big one. And this is the one usually everyone votes in. Well, not everyone. Only, like... not even half of America votes, but who knows, maybe this year there'll be more just because of the year we're having. We'll see. We'll see who's President at the end of this year. Oh, man, I am not excited for that. Um, but anyways, so thanks you guys, thanks so much for listening. And I really appreciate it. And I appreciate you listening to my little therapy session and my little voting PSA.


30:52

And if you enjoy the show and want to stay in the know, please follow me on social media. I am on Facebook; I am on Instagram. You can also check out my website at thetalkativeintrovertpodcast. All of my information will be on there as well as in the show notes. If you like the show, as I mentioned earlier, please please please rate and review me on Apple Podcasts. If you leave a review, I'll make sure to feature it in future episode. And I'll even read the bad ones. Like I'll read all of them. Well, it depends. Maybe I might have to like... it depends how bad it is. I might have to censor some of it. I don't know. Hopefully, it's not that bad. But anyways, thanks so much and I'll talk to you guys in the next episode.

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