In today’s episode I talk about what it means to be an introvert and why I consider myself to be one. I ask the question, “Am I qualified to be your introvert host?” I refer to an article I found online that speaks to what makes you an introvert. If you’d like to read that article, here is the link: https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-are-an-introvert-2795427. If you like what you heard, then please give me a follow on Instagram. Please let me know what you thought about the episode and any topics you’d like me to discuss. Thanks and talk to you in the next episode!
Hey, everyone! This is Meliza and I am the Talkative Introvert.
If you listened to my first episode, you would know that I struggled a little bit with the intro. I still don't really know what I want. I'm gonna just stick to this really simple and short one for now. Maybe I'll do something fancy later on, but we'll just stick with this for now.
So, my first episode, it was pretty short. It was only a little over six minutes. I guess it's more of a trailer rather than an episode. I just wanted to do a quick introduction. I really want to just get one done, get more comfortable talking to the mic. I've never just talked to myself before. I mean, you know, you do your little, little sentences, maybe you'll talk to yourself, but never full on had like a conversation, just to a microphone. So, it is a little weird. So, I'm just trying to get comfortable with that and that's why the first episode was so short. I just really wanted to get one done and just get used to the software, get used to the mic, get used to the headset, get used to listening to my voice. That was really weird. I don't typically listen to a soundtrack of my voice over and over and over again. It definitely does not match the voice in my head. I thought my voice was a lot deeper than it actually is. It's actually a little higher pitched. I don't know, I thought that was weird. I guess I'm just used to the voice in my head. And, but it was really fun. I liked it. It made me really want to do another one. I've been itching to do another one. I've been thinking about it. I've been working on some artwork and trying to figure out a good podcast album, cover art, whatever you want to call it. And then obviously the intro and outro, I still don't have any music for that. So, this whole thing is definitely a work in progress. But I want to just keep recording, and then like, just grow with it, you know. So, right now my first two episodes so far, no music, but as we as I learn how to, like, do this whole podcasting thing, hopefully, it'll evolve, and I'll just get better and better as we go. And then you'll just be on this journey with me, assuming there are people out there listening to me. But anyways, I did get some topics down. I'm gonna do a little research. I've been just googling stuff. I wanted to have some good pointers to talk about.
So, the first episode, I wrote the entire episode and basically read from a script. And I think that might have been why it was so short. It's not just me talking and just being free to just ramble on about whatever I wanted to talk about. I wanted it to be like perfect. And I was writing a script, and I kept deleting stuff, adding stuff, and it just wasn't, I don't know, I, I read some articles about starting a podcast and I googled, you know, what's a great way to start a podcast? Like how do you, you know, how do people do it? And a lot of the articles I read, were saying, like, you know, don't script it, just write out an outline, do some key bullet points or topics you want to talk about, and then just go for it. One guy suggested to not even do any cuts, just just press the record button and just go from there. Just keep talking. Make it feel as live as possible. And I was like, okay, so I will try that for this episode. I'm not going to promise that the whole thing is gonna be just a one and done and don’t do any cutting or revising or anything like that, because I'm still new to this. And I'm still trying to figure out, like, the things I want to talk about and the stuff in my head, and like how to get them from my head to my mouth into this podcast. So, we will work on that.
So, I've got some ideas for the podcast, like I said, definitely want to add some music. I asked my husband if he would create some intro and outro music for me. He was in a band in high school. And they actually made some pretty good songs. And I know he really enjoys making music or playing music. He plays his guitar all the time. And he still knows how to play like other instruments. Like, he's very, very talented in that area. Like he can literally pick up any instrument and just learn how to use it, which is amazing. I don't know very many people who could do that. Like, I wish I could do that. My talent is I guess that I like to talk, which is why I have this podcast.
So, I was definitely a little nervous in the first episode. I'm still nervous now. I had to take a breather before I pressed the record button. And then before my mouse even touched the little red dot, I was a little shaky and like nervous, and I was like, why? There's no one here. It's just me and my dog. And I just need to whoooo, so I took a breather. I literally started the podcast and then it took… this is probably my, probably my eighth time trying to do this. And trying to start this, I deleted all the other first seven attempts. But I'm going to try not to do that so much. I'm going to try to just just talk and be comfortable and be, you know,
Anyways, so today's podcast. What am I talking about today? So, I claim to be a talkative introvert. Key word is introvert, really. And I wanted to explain, like, why do I qualify? How do I qualify as an introvert? How do I qualify to talk about being an introvert? And like, what it means to me and like, why do I resonate with it so much? That way, you kind of understand me as the, I don't know, I guess I'm the host, right? I don't know what we're called. The host. Let's go with that. And how I am qualified to talk about introverts, because like, I have a lot of topics I want to talk about, like pet peeves, you know, introverts in the workplace, and how I relate and not relate to my extrovert family, and how, you know, how family gatherings are like, and just really talking about, like, my struggles, but not just only struggles, obviously. I think there's a lot of good things about being an introvert. Unfortunately, in like the world we live in, I feel like and I've like read about articles where like, we live in a very extroverted world, you know? Extroverts are highly praised. It's like the type of personality employees look for, you know? I've many times have written outgoing on my resume. And that's, and I'm not saying that I'm not outgoing, but that's definitely an extrovert trait and it's something that I just added on there, because I know, that's what people love. Not saying I can't talk to strangers. It's just, yeah, we'll get into that. Well, that's a totally other episode about like introverts in the workplace, and like landing interviews and stuff like that. But for today, it's just kind of more about me, and then why I call myself an introvert and why I associate myself as an introvert, and then give you a little brief definition of an introvert and extrovert.
So, I know that it's a pretty common term, right? So, most people already know what an introvert and extrovert is, but in case you don't know what it is, I did do some googling. And I did look up some articles just to give a little brief description of what an introvert is and what an extrovert is, and then I'll get into like, why I think I am one.
So, I found this article from verywellmind.com, and I thought, what is this called? How can you tell that you're an introvert? So, they described an introvert as:
· Introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved, and introspective.
· Unlike extroverts who gain energy from social interactions, introverts have to expend energy in social situations.
· After attending a party or spending time with a large group of people, introverts often feel the need to recharge by spending the period of time alone.
And then they also had another article about extroverts. So like signs you are an extrovert. Okay, so extroverts are often described as
· Action oriented
· Friendly and outgoing
· Numerous broad interests
· Likes to communicate by talking.
· Enjoys being at the center of attention.
· Tends to act first before thinking.
· Enjoys group work.
· Feels isolated by too much time spent alone.
· Looks to others and outside sources for ideas and inspiration.
· Likes to talk about thoughts and feelings.
So, I noticed that talkative was one of the characteristics. So, that kind of goes back to my point that I made in my introduction. So, I don't believe that anyone is 100% introverted and 100% extroverted. I think everyone has tendencies of both sides. It's just some people lean towards one than more than the other. And there could be people who are just, you know, in the middle. So, for me, I am definitely on the introverted side, even though I like to talk. Obviously, I'm doing a podcast. So, I'm by myself talking and for me, that was really fun. You know? And it's really, I mean, it's really the same thing. If you think about it. When you're alone, as an introvert, you know, you're thinking about your thoughts in your head, and you spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. And this is kind of the same thing for me, but instead, I'm verbally talking them out into this podcast and recording it for people to hear. So why, why do I call myself an introvert? And why do I qualify to talk about being an introvert?
Introverts Tend to be Quiet, Reserved, and Introspective
So, for that first article, it talks about being an introvert. So, like I said before, it says introverts tend to be more quiet, which is true, I'm very quiet. It's very apparent at work too like, if you ask any of my coworkers, I am definitely very quiet as a I keep to myself, most of the time. I usually have my headphones on. I usually only talk if someone talks to me first. Or if we're in a meeting, or if I have a question for someone, but I'm not usually the one to go to people's cubicles and like start a conversation. Usually, someone comes up to me. I just, I like to keeping to myself, I like just putting my head down and concentrating on work and getting my work done and then going home. And even during my lunch, like I sometimes go out with coworkers, but honestly, I like having lunch by myself, because we're in meetings almost all day. I'm constantly interacting with people. So lunchtime is just my time to just be alone with my thoughts and to just take a break from the social aspect of work because yeah, I interact with people a lot, and it's not always work related. And I know people love to chit chat. And that's great. I do too. Like I said, I'm a talkative introvert. So, I do like to talk but a lot of times it's very exhausting and very tiring. Like I just need a break. So that's what my lunchtime usually is. Okay, so quiet, reserve, introspective. Okay, so if you don't know what introspective means, it means someone who looks inward or focuses on their own internal thoughts, feelings, beliefs and motivations, which is true. I'm in my head a lot, which makes sense because I spend a lot of time by myself and a lot of my hobbies don't require other people. So, I totally get that. Okay, so the article goes on about like the eight reasons why you could be an introvert. So for some of you, maybe you don't even know if you're an introvert or extrovert and this will be like a really good article, I'll link it so that if you guys are interested in that, you could read it too. It is a pretty interesting read, especially for people who don't really understand what it means to be introvert or extrovert.
Being Around Lots of People Drains Your Energy
So, the first thing, being around lots of people drains your energy. That is 100% true, I get so tired. So, I'm Filipino. And if you guys are either Filipino or know of Filipino families, you would know that a good chunk of Filipinos have huge families. We have cousins and cousins and cousins and aunts and uncles and aunts and uncles who aren't even blood related but we call them aunts and uncles. And it's just like, every family event seems to be just a giant rager or like, just a really, it just seems like a huge family reunion. But it's really just, we have a lot of people in our family. So, it seems like a big party every time we see them. And seeing my family, it's just very exhausting. Especially because they're all extroverts. I mean, there's like a handful of them who are introverts who get me and get why I sometimes want to leave early or I come late, or I don't go at all because it's very exhausting and having a big family means that you also have a lot of birthdays. There's so many birthdays. I think. So, my husband is also half Filipino. So, with our family combined, there's a birthday, multiple birthdays every single month of the year. And if we're going to celebrate every single person's birthday, like, it's just, it's too much. It's so draining. And like, I can't, I just can't. So, when we don't go to people's birthdays, it's not personal. It's not that we don't like them, or we pick favorites. It just really depends on how many events we go in a row. And eventually, like, it just gets so tiring that we just can't. We physically just cannot, we have to just take a break, step back and just, you know, recharge, and then we'll make it to the next one. So yeah, so that's number one. So yes, I do get tired. I do tend to leave parties early, or just come to them late so that when the party ends, I'm not there the whole entire time. Or just flat out skip them entirely. Yeah. Okay.
You Enjoy Solitude
So, number two, you enjoy solitude. Yes. I've talked about that before. A lot of my hobbies don't require other people. Like I don't, I don't need the constant attention from other people. I don't need the constant, what's the word for it? Like, I don't need someone to be around all the time for me to be happy and have fun and do something I enjoy. Like even for my husband, we will have separate hobbies but will be like in the same room. But we will just stick to our own. Like, he'll be practicing a new song on the guitar, something like that, and I'll be over at my side of the office and doing, I don't know, crafts or something or practicing calligraphy or what have you. We’re content like that. And, you know, it's like we're together but not together, if that makes sense. Yeah, I definitely enjoy solitude. I sometimes like need to be alone. Sometimes I like literally need to be alone just so I can recharge and just be ready for social interactions again.
You have a Small Group of Close Friends
Okay, third, you have a small group of close friends. That is true. So that has kind of always been the deal. Ever since I was little. I've definitely been an introvert my whole life. I've heard some people say, you know, they were super outgoing when they were young and then it wasn't until they got older that they became introverts. And honestly, for me, I've always been an introvert. I've always had like a group of like three friends, maybe, that I like always hung out with or I have that one best friend I always kept in touch with. In middle school, I did have a little more friends. But it's honestly, I think it's because I came from a really tiny private school. In like my grade, there's only 14 of us, like how are you not friends with everyone, I guess, since we all spend so much time together. But even in that situation, I had like my two best friends, or three best friends. Yeah, my three best friends. Hopefully, they're not listening. And that's how I was in high school. I've always had like that best friend that I hung out with all the time and like always had a small group. Even till this day, I only keep in touch with like, a small handful of people I've befriended throughout my life, I guess. And it's always been really small. I don't have like this massive, giant, like squad that I go out with or anything like that. It's a very, very small group of friends. And maybe if they're comfortable, they can go on the show and be a guest. And that'll be fun, because they're introverts too. I have most of my friends are introverts. I do have a couple extroverted friends, but I'm mostly friends with introverts.
People Often Describe You as Quiet and May Find it Difficult to Get to Know You
Okay, next one. People often describe you as quiet and may find it difficult to get to know you. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I believe that. I'm definitely quiet. I'm not usually the first one to talk or start a conversation. And when I was younger, you can even ask like, my family. I'm definitely the quiet kid. I've always been the quiet kid. The adults tend to like me because I'm the quiet kid. I'm not super… I wasn't… I was never super rowdy and I never liked to talk to back to the adults and I never, like, I was just never super loud and obnoxious or anything like that, like other kids are. And I think that's why the adults liked to me so much. But you know, I was also shy. I didn't like going up to people when I was younger. My dad like forced me to go up to like the counter, like, say, like we're at a McDonald's or something to like ask for a straw or napkins or whatever. And I used to hate that, but my dad always wanted me to go and just, you know, just go ask like, just, just go. So yeah, definitely quiet. Definitely shy. Difficult to get to know me. Yeah, I would say so. I have a very small group of friends and I am pretty private. I don't share everything. Unless I know you. Like, I need to know you a little better. I know that's weird, because now I have a podcast and now, I'm sharing stuff. But it's… I don't feel like I'm talking to another person. Like, or kind of, I guess. I do feel like there's someone I'm talking to, but it doesn't… it's not the same as like a one-on-one, in-person, trying to get to know me situation. But yes, I do agree with that.
Too Much Stimulation Leaves You Feeling Distracted and Unfocused
Okay, too much simulat... Sorry. Too much stimulation leaves you feeling distracted and unfocused. Mmm hmm. Let me think about that one. Actually, you know, I have a great, great example of that. So, too much stimulation. So, I did go to a bridesmaid’s party. It was my sister in law. Ooh, and she's an introvert. So maybe I can get her on the podcast too. Because she's family and she gets… she gets it when it comes to like, why we leave early for family events. But anyways, so we went to her bridesmaid’s party. It was like a weekend away by the beach. And so me and my friend got there later than everyone else. So, the party kind of already started. The girls were already settled in and they have already started drinking at that point. So, when I came in, like it was just everyone squealing and yelling or not yelling, squealing and screaming and like, you know, super excited because everyone was drunk. And like, that was like, too much for me. It was… It was a lot. I was like, oh my god, what, what did I get myself into? But it was fine. I'm not saying I didn't have fun in case she's listening. I did have fun and I love the beach and I grew up in that area, so, it was good. It was kind of nice to come back to that place. But yeah, it was just… like… it was a lot of noise. You know, there's a lot of music. There's a lot going on. There's people I didn't know, that's a big one. Because there's like her friends that I didn't know. So, I definitely stuck with like my friend and like the people I know, the family members that I know. But now, it's like meeting people, meeting drunk people. Loud music, loud girls screaming and squealing. It definitely, like, I almost instantly just got tired. And it was like just me walking through the front door and into the kitchen. And that was it. And I was like already a little tired. And I definitely took a drink just to help me with the whole situation. So that's… that was a great, great example.
You Are Very Self-Aware
You are very self-aware. So, I had to read this a little bit. I'm not, I guess. Sure. The article states, “If you feel that you're self-aware and enjoy gaining deep knowledge about yourself, then you might be more of an introvert.” I guess I'm self-aware. I don't know how to answer this one. I had to click on the self-awareness hyperlink. So, it led to another article and it states, “self-awareness involves being aware of different aspects of the self, including traits, behaviors and feelings.” So yeah, I guess I agree with that. I think I am fairly self-aware. I'm aware of like how I'm feeling at the moment. I am aware of like my behaviors or my traits and the things that I do. So I guess I kind of agree with that. But maybe we can come back to that one.
You Like to Learn by Watching
You like to learn by watching? Yeah, actually. I love to just sit and observe a room. Observe people's like body language, observe how people talk. I think I remember learning about it. It's called, like emotional intelligence or something like that. But like really understanding, like reading the room. I definitely agree with that. Like, one of the past times I have with my… one of my introvert friends before this whole quarantine thing happened. We used to go to the mall, like literally, this is how we hung out. We used to go to the mall, got some Orange Julius, and we would sit at the, like the cafeteria area. What's it called? Oh, the food court? And literally, just people watch. Like, it was just so fun. Like, we just, I don't know, sometimes we would like, like, with my husband, we would like create stories about what we think about what these people are doing or what they're talking about, or why they're there and all that. And yeah. So yeah, I agree with that. I like to learn by watching.
You are Drawn to Jobs that Involve Independence
Okay, eight, you're drawn to jobs that involve independence. Yeah, definitely. So, I definitely do want to do a topic, an episode about introverts in the workplace, and like how I am in the workplace. And maybe that's how other introverts are. But I definitely do like that, like right now. So, I currently work in an office setting. I'm not gonna go into too much detail about it, but definitely is an office setting. I'm in a cubicle, just your stereotypical office job. And I do love when we stop having meetings. So we tend to have a lot of meetings, we talk a lot, and we collaborate a lot, and we're constantly just talking to other people. But my most productive time of the day is when the meetings stop, and I get to sit at my desk, and really just focus on what I'm doing and just work. And then I get so much done that way. So ever since this quarantine, obviously a lot of offices have closed down. So, we've moved to teleworking, so working from home. So right now, I am working from home and I am so much more productive. I've gotten a lot more stuff done, I get stuff done quicker, and I'm more responsive. And I definitely do better with like, instant messaging. Obviously, some things are better to talk about on the phone, which is still pretty great. Because like, in the office, I'm constantly being bugged. I'm constantly being interrupted. And sometimes it's work related, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's literally just people who are bored and just want to talk. And that's great. You know, it's a great escape sometimes. But there's literally sometimes people who just talk forever. And the little, you know, conversations. Sometimes they're fine. Sometimes they're great, great way to catch up with your coworkers and get to know them and bond with them. But sometimes, like, people just talk for hours, and I wonder like how do you get work done? And it's just crazy. And like, I'm just too nice, I guess. It's hard for me to say like, please go away so I can finish my job, so I could go home. But, yea. That's like a long, long explanation to the why I resonate with that last one. You're drawn to jobs that involve independence? Definitely. I don't know. I kind of want to do an Etsy shop someday, too. I really like doing crafts. And that requires you to be alone and just alone with your thoughts and with your creative part of your mind. And then even this podcast, I'm doing this podcast by myself. It's literally just me at my desk, and I have my dog next to me just sleeping. My husband's at work. And this is fun for me. It's I think… I like it.
Anyways, so yeah, so that was that article from verywellmind.com. It's called How you can tell that you're an introvert. And I definitely resonate with every single one of these points that they have. Like, the eight points I just went through. But like I said, I do have some extrovert tendencies, and being quarantined, I do miss a little bit of my coworkers who do bug me and talk to me and like he other day or the other week, I literally talked to one of my coworkers… we actually called each other for work related question, but then we ended up talking for like an hour on the phone, just like catching up because we haven't seen each other since we, let's see… So, they sent us home March 17. And I talked to her and it's like, what is it… May now? So, that's a long time. It's a long time not to keep in touch with someone who you're used to seeing almost every day. So yeah, so I do have some of those tendencies, but I definitely do enjoy being alone. I enjoy hobbies alone, and I enjoy... I do get very exhausted and tired. And work can be exhausting and tired, just from that little social… Or it's not really little… It's kind of tiring to think about it, actually.
Yeah, so hopefully, that helps you understand me a little bit. Helps you understand, like, why I'm an introvert. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you do, then stick around for the next one. I don't have… I'm not gonna put this on YouTube. Well, yeah, no, probably not. (Lies… I ended up making a YouTube channel after this episode.) I'm probably gonna stick to your, your typical podcast venues, and then I do have an Instagram. So I'm going to try… I'm really bad with social media, but I'm going to try to keep that up to date and like, post whenever an episode gets launched, and hopefully, if I get enough listeners and get enough people to interact with, we can do like Q and A's or talk about tough topics I can cover and stuff like that. So, if you want to follow me on Instagram, it's the talkative podcast underscore. No, it's not. It's the talkative introvert underscore podcast. Unfortunately, someone already took the talkative introvert, but it's cool. So yeah, the talkative introvert underscore podcast. (Another lie… LOL! It’s now just @thetalkativeintrovertpodcast. Go check it out!)
Thanks guys and I will talk to you in the next episode.